|
I cant find happiness
hi i'm 16 years old and i am done with my life i see no hope i have gone through lots of pain in my short life my dad puts me down and is constently critisizing me and i fell in love very young when i was 12 in seventh grade i found my first love he ended up failing and having to move and because we wear young and it was a secret we lost eachother that emotionally hurt me a lot i became very alone and in high school i started to loose my friends and now have very few and i am very alone also i ended up falling for another guy he turned out to be a jerk took my virginity and called me and said horrible things about me and moked me about when we had sex it has made me very self causious i don't have any pride in myself i hate myself everything i do isnt good enouh i think i'm ugly i just need something nuthing i try every makes me happy please someone help me what can i do to get my confidence and self worth back so i will stop doing horrible things lieing and having sex with random guys because of my sadnees
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
there's nothing wrong with you so stop stressing ,you are never alone you can talk to anyone you want you can talk to me throw an live chat at www.dearaskshay.com or throw my webpage www.dear-askshay.com or even email me askshay1@yahoo.com i check my columns mondays-wednesdays-fridays and i check my emails everyday so holla at me okay. as far as that guy dust your shoulders off honey he's nothing but the dust the winds blows to get rid of negativity, people can talk all they want thye are just jealous of you and as far as him talking it was good to him he just don't want to ment it, so enjoy your life /have fun make new friends hit the malls
and find that special guy it's getting close to valentines day smile and love yourself.
]
Ive been through the same thing you have with falling in love and being hurt everytime you put your wall down guys using you for your boddy you thinking that if he sleeps with me that meens that he cares that im good looking for someone to be able to sleep with me and at the end you just end up by getting hurt. I am now 22 years old and i reliaze that no matter what you cannot blame your self do not live your life by looking what you did in the past start caring about the future you cant take back what you did but you are able to change it for the futur. You have to start telling yourself that yes you are smart funny good looking, that there is someone out there but you cant go looking for him let him come to you it might not be now or a few weeks might be years but the right one is out there and yes meen wile you will get your heart broken more then once but girl you are strong you can get threw this get your education down first leave thoes boys alone because the are boys after all at that age. Trust me it will get better but before it does you have to go through some bad for the good in life. And about losing your friends a threw friend stands by you no matter what threw good or bad and if your friends couldnt do that then they need to grow up. Once you are out of high school you will see people act different its not a compatation about who like who or who or what people are doing once your out in the real world you will be able to experince threw friendship and you do not need to have 20 friends one friend is good enough. And about your Dad i know exacly what you are going there sweetie the only advise i can give you about that is perhapes that the way he treets you is the only way he knows how maybe his parents were like that with him did you ever take the time to sit down with him like an adult not yeilling at him just sit down explane to him how this is making you feel ask why he does it or maybe your father want so much for you that he is scared sit down with him and just talk to your dad you never know. and sorry for my spelling wanted to get this down right away didnt have time to go over it
]
I am also 16, and I have learned that to get through your highschool years, you have to grow a tough skin and not let people get the better of you. You're not done with life, your life has only just begun. I know everyone is going to tell you that you should forget about those people who hurt you, but don't. Don't forget about them, learn from them, know how to be NOTHING like them, because you are a MUCHHHHHHH better person than them. No matter what any jerk says, you will always be better than them. Don't forget the past, learn from it, you've experienced its lows, but now you're going to experience the highs :] One of my favorite quotes is ...
"we're all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar White
it has helped me think on the bright side in many occasions, and i'd just like to say, that you need to look at the stars. Honey, you've been through things no 16 year old should ever have to go through, ever, and I'm here for you, and you're not alone. You don't have to do this alone. Don't let these jerk-offs win or get you down, show them who's boss. Don't start to think of less of yourself because a couple of assholes were created on this earth. They are just going to grow up unhappy and friendless, don't follow their paths. Branch out, go out there and involve yourself in activities. find something you absolutley love to do ... like drawing, or writing, or playing a musical intrument or sport. If you busy yourself, you're bound to find yourself and who you really are. You're going to get your pride back. Sure, you've made you're fair share of mistakes, and aren't a virgin anymore, but there are people out there who have done much worse, much much worse. However, today, you are starting over; a fresh start. It'll be like your own little new years. Time for a resolution. what's yours gonna be? well, whatever it is, make it a promise to yourself that you will not break.
I know you're saying that because you have a low self worth, that you are having sex with random guys in result of your sadness, but this is just an excuse to hide your pain. You think that sleeping with a bunch of random guys is going to get you anywhere? or happy? then you have to stop. Because it's not. Don't prove what those jerks are saying about you is true, change your ways now. It's never too late. never. You are a great person, who deserves so much more than what you have gotten. Just think, once you get through this dark, and hard time, you're going to be one of the strongest people out there. And I want you to know that no one is ugly, not even you. There is a unique beauty in all of us, it's just how you present yourself and those spectacular qualities. What's your best feature? [and don't say nothing, because everyone has a beautiful feature.] look yourself in the mirror and stare at your best feature. Tell yourself that you're ot ugly. Say it over and over again, out loud or in your head, and you'll believe it just like the people around you do.
I also suggest talking further to someone about this. Like a guidance counselor at school, or your parents to try to get help from a therapist, or go to one yourself. Talk to a friend or teacher or family member you trust. This can't just stop here, you need to get back on track because you have gotten a little off path, but no matter how many forks in the road, you'll find your way :] I promise. and I never break promises. Don't give up just yet, give it anither shot. Pick yourself off the floor and start over :] write in a journal or diary about how you feel, don't let anyone use or abuse you. You are wonderful, and you most liekly won't feel better with the snap of your fingers, it'll take a little while, but I know you want help, so I know you have the strength to get through this. Don't worry. You'll be fine, I'm always here for you, to help you through whatever you need, whenever. Don't give up. You have the rest of your life to try. Never stop trying. You go girl, I believe in you.
good luck ! inbox me if you ever need to just talk or anything. :] xxo
]
I won't give you this big chapter about life. I'll tell you short and sweet how to get your confidence back. You have to look at yourself in the mirror and truly see yourself. I want you to find at least 3 things about yourself that you like. I know you can find at least 3. Now, I want you to stare at yourself and tell yourself you are a wonderful person because you know what, you are and you know you are.
I want you to get mad at those who harrass you. You don't have to speak to them but in your head, tell them off. It will make you feel so much better. Now, get mad at yourself. You heard me, get mad at yourself for letting other people get to you this way. I want you to do this; the more people put you down, turn this negative vib into positive energy. So, the more they bug you the more I want you to set out to prove those idiots wrong. You can do this girl! You are better than that, I know you are. So come on, stop whinning and start fighting for your self esteem. Try this, punch a pillow and visualize someone who is putting you down. Tell them exactly how you feel as you are punching them(the pillow). When you are done you will feel so much better. Then, make sure you keep getting mad at yourself for falling into their trap. Don't you dare let them get the best of you. You are a beautiful,strong young woman who will not be brought down by idiots. You're not an idiot are you? Of course you're not. So, don't go down to their level girl. If you let them upset you, they won, and your're at their level. Rise above them and prove to them you're so much better than they are. You go girl!!!Write to me anytime and I'll pump you up every time until you can do it on your own.
]
Hello,Well as you may well know life throws horrible things at you sometimes.Unfortunatey some of theses horrible things occur back to back but just know that everything in your life happens for a reason good or bad. you are exprienceing these things to make you a better person in the future and as an adult.Just think if you dont go through things in your life you wont know how to handle certain situations. You go through things as a learning experience,you have to try even though I iknow it is extremly hard to find the good in every situation because there is always a shinning light in the darkest of situations. Please so not think this of yourself you are a beautiful person inside and out.Everyone is special and unique in there own way and everyone has something to offer this world whether they know it or not.You have a purpose and you will find this purpose in tiime.Just think about it there is no one in this world like you,you have specific attributes and charactrisitics that no one has.Do not in any way blame yourself for the way others treat you and put yourself down because of this.Right now you dont beleive that you are a beautiful and special person and until you realize this and fully beleive it you wont feel as good as you should.Things happen in life and life can be hard but there is no way you can change the past,the only thing you can do is live in the present,try to enjoy yourself as much as possible and change for the better. Love and relationships are a very sensitive topic and unfortunatley people get hurt when it comes to things like this because your emotions are on the line.Know this,everyone is put in your life for reason and most are put in your life temeporarily,you will have to deal with loss and pain to get to the good it is just a way of life. When people put you down or are rude to you it is because they are hurting within and want to take it out on others whether what they say is true or not which it most likley is not. You have so much potential and you have so much to offer,you shouldnt let what others say effect you,you know who you are and you know what you are not,if you truly beleive this then no one can change that EVER.I am sure you have a beautiful spirit and mind and you have the potential to change within to know that you are worth so much more than the words people say use against you,remember they are just words. Because all of the things that went wrong in your life you have no choice but to have this negative attitude towards life because that is what you know and how you have coped with what you have been through.Those things are in the past now and this things from the past are bringing you down in the worst way possible,your life is so special and you should be happy everyday just being alive. Each day is an opportunity to try new things and learn new things.You should try and do things that make you happy whatever it is,little things can make you happy just looking at a pretty flower,enjoying the fresh air outside,reading a book that you have been wanting to read or watching a movie,try to find things that you like and utilize that to boost your mood.Also say encouraging words to yourself such as "I'm special in every way" “I am beautiful” and the most important “I DESERVE THE BEST” This is vital in many aspects,when it comes to the whole not respevcting yourself when it comes to guys you have to live by this. You are a great person and you do only deserve the best,you deserve a guy treat you with respect,to care for you,be honest with you and be there for you no matter what.The guys that you are seeping wiht could care less about your feelings or what you want they are focused on there pleasure.From now on you should only do the things that make you happy and dont worry about anyone else or what anyone else has to say because it really doesnt matter. It will take time to get out of this stage in your life but you have to have the will power to want to change and think more positive. THhinking positive and being optimistitc is the key to happiness and if negative thoughts consume you on a daily basis it will alter your thinking. You will contuinue to think that what you do is not good enough and that you have no self worth. But the truth is you do whatever you can to the best of your ability and if that is not good enough for others then that is too bad because you tried your best,there is however always room for improvement and if you recognize your faults then they can easily be altered and fixed. You are worth so much and you shouldnt give a guy the time of day if they cant see how special and unique you are and everything that you day and do.You can have sex with any guy but it is so special when you have a guy that understands you and accepts you for you,you dont want to ever settle because I promise you there is someone out there waiting for you,you are still young honey and you will have plenty of experiences with guys,just try to make those experiences special.Don’t feel bad if you dont have someone you care about currently because he will find you,he will see something inside of you that no one else see’s and will be there for you in evryway,some people who are in there 40’s still dont have that special relationshp either,it just takes time and patience! I know it is hard to change but once you make that first step you wont regret it, if you try to your best ability to ignore the remarks people say and beleive in yourself then you will go far. Your thoughts are powerful and can bring you up or down and you obviously want to go up. If I know you are such a beautiful,intelligent,special,and unique girl then it wont be hard for you to beleive this and NEVER EVER forget it.I know right now you may feel like you have no one to talk to or that understands you but I am here to listen to you I care so much about what you have to say and how you are feeling because it is very upsetting to see others upset and sadden by all of the trials of life. I promise you things will get better,this is only temporary and you are garuanteed to have a bright and beautiful future,dont worry about it.I am open to talk to you and listen to you whenever you want,you can send me a message or email me anytime(princessdiamond1314@yahoo.com) I know how vital it is to have someone to talk to at times like this and I want you to know that I am here for you,If you have any further questions,just want to talk,or need someone to listen to you do not hesitate to contact me.Good things are going to start happening for you and you are going to feel so much better in time!!! I hope this helped and I am looking forward to hearing from you!!!YOU ARE AMAZING!!never forget how much potential you have and how greatly special you are!!
SINCERLY,DIAMOND:) :0 ;) ;) :) :) :0 ;) ;) :) :) :) ;) :) :0
]
More Questions: |