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Fighting
my boyfriend and i have been fighting alot in the last month. its always about him not being in high school anymore and that he thinks that i should be with someone in high school. but i dont want to be with anyone but him. i love him and i cant imagine myself with anyone else. well just the other day he was being really mean all day. he had to go to work so i thought he would be fine when he got off (11:30. i even asked my dad if i could stay out later (my curfew is midnight but he said 1).
he picked me up after work and he was still being mean and everything. so when 1 rolled around he basically ran out to his car and right when i got in he pulled out and drove to my house. well we talked and i told him that i didnt know what his deal was and that i wasnt going to put up with it and that i wasnt going over there tomorrow. so he told me that i was being childish and maybe we shouldnt be together. i told him that he had been saying that alot lately and he said that hes saying it alot cuz he doesnt feel a spark anymore. so we just fought all night and finally he was like im going to bed.
ive never had anyone like him. he really is a great guy but for some reason hes acting like this and he never has before. everytime we fight i feel like i come closer to losing him and i dont want that. ive never been good with guys to begin with and he makes me feel special and i really do love him with all my heart. i just feel like i screwed up somewhere and i cant fix it. ive never been able to please anyone or do anything right. and this time ive finally found someone that i thought i could please and i cant even do that.
i just want to know what i should do. btw we have been together for a year and 4 months. 16/f
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I know this is not what you want to hear but it really sounds to me like he is trying to get you to break up with him. He is basically telling you straight out that he doesnt want to be with you. You may want to be with him, but you cant force someone to like you and want to be with you. And why would you want to? You need to let him go sweetie. You will be much happier when you do. Think of it this way, your not happy right now. Yes, maybe the thought that you are with him makes you happy but you deserve better. The quicker you realize this and move on, the quicker you can be happy. Do it for yourself. Good luck.
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okay i dont think he is worth all the pain you have been going through. i know that you love him and what not but you have to think about what he is actually saying to you. he is saying that he doesnt want to be with you... you are sixteen and prolly a very lovely person. i say you go out and find someone who will appreciate you. me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years and 3 months...and he broke up with me once and it was the best thing to happen to us. we realized that we really did want to be together. maybe thats what you guys need...space...its not a bad thing. and if you give him space and he doesnt come back he isnt worth it for sure.
hope i helped,
Sydney
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Hes insecure, or upset about something.
The fighting and tension is just a symptom. Couples fight about stupid shit alot when one or both are upset about something major.
You need to talk to him. Tell him that you love him, and are concerned because he keeps bringing up breaking up during fights that didn't have anything to do with breaking up or even the relationship.
Tell him that you don't WANT to break up with him, and it hurts when he suggests things like this because even when you're angry with him thats the last thing on your mind.
You might even want to throw this line out there.
"You know, one of the things I love about being with you is no matter how mad you make me in the back of my head I always know I'm going to want to fix it, that I'm going to come back, because I love you"
You also need to remember that this ISN'T all your fault. It sounds like he is reacting to something, probably something he's thinking and upset about. It could be insecurity, worries about family or school, almost anything. Be loving, encouraging, and try to get him to talk to you.
But also, be firm. You don't have to threaten to leave him to not put up with his shit. You can get irritated, tell him that he needs to stop being mean to you, and when he brings up breaking up just say "I'm not leaving you, but I'm not going to sit here and get treated like shit. If you want to talk to me about whatevers bothering you without yelling at me or being mean, I'll be right over here" and watch TV or read a book or something.
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14/f
so he said that he thinks you should be with someone in highschool. right? well tell him this.. maybe you can find someone in high school. maybe you can find someone better. maybe you can find someone who cares more or feels a bigger spark. but so what? so what if he doesn't see himself as the perfect guy for you. you can do better but its the fact that maybe you don't want to find a better guy. maybe you only want him. maybe he doesn't feel a spark anymore because he won't let there be one.
tell him how you feel. tell him your true feelings.
hope all goes well.
- M.C
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: i know how you feel. and i know it probably really hurt you when he said that there isnt a spark anymore.
the thing is, though. sometimes, when boys think they arent good enough for the girls, they act like total dicks so its "easier" for the girls to get over them. doesnt work most of the time. what you need to do is ask him if you two can have a MATURE talk, face to face. (mature meaning no screaming, no yelling, no arguing, period.) tell him what you just wrote up there. about how much you care about him.
just tell him your true feelings, and hopefully, everything will fall into place if he hears it.
i hope everything works out!
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