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I can't get over him,please take the time to read :)
Well there's is this kid David that Ive been crazy for ,for about 3 ish years.We have been reallly good friends and he has admitted to liking me on and off.We've been having sex for about that long as well and I just had a feeling deep deep down he had alot of feelings for me ,he just didn't show them or wasnt ready to show them or just didn't wanna ruin things..so i continued having sex with him even though we weren't going out .Then I asked him if he likes me and what not and he said he does deep down and he knows one day we will date but hes just not ready for a girlfriend so I believed that.Shortly after ,he started talking to this girl who doesn't even live in our town and whatnot.He started talking to me less and less and acted like he cared less and less each day.He's now going out with her and barely talks to me and when he does,its usually something mean.I tried talking to him about it and he said "that he didnt wanna spend his life with just one girl the rest of his life "etc etc. and from then on ,I just kinda pretend like I dont care but it's really killing me inside.I wanna know if he atleast thinks about me or what is going on.I would stop liking him but its hard and we've had a thing for 3 years so I don't want to lose it.Any advice would help thanks!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
What have you been wasting your time for? You could have spent these last 3 years with someone that wanted to be with you for you. Not because you were willing to give it up whenever he wanted.Don't you think you deserve to be treated better than that! You should be treated like the princess you are!Tell this jerk to hit the road! Go find yourself a good guy. He is not worthy of even having you speak his name.Look in the mirror and repeat after me" I am beautiful and deserve to be loved" . Keep saying it several times a day until you believe it. Because you are.
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It will indeed be hard to do but you have
to learn to say no to sex without commitment.
He has no incentive to make you his girl.
He is getting it now with no work at all
on his part. I don't think he will change,
but who knows.
To get over him you will need to ignore him,
no contact at all if you can't avoid doing
sexual things with him. He knows he can talk
you into it by now so avoid him. Then find
another guy and give him all your attention.
Not sex, just attention. No sex until you
are dating and have gotten to know what kind
of guy he is. You don't have to do this right
away. You may want to mourn the loss of this first guy a while. Thats ok. Just don't wait
to long. Moving on and occupying your mind
with another is the only way to et over him completely. Good luck!
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What do you like about this David? Sex? I don't mean to be candid but I think you need a little bit of shaking up. What you had with this guy was nothing more than an "intercourse between animate beings", to put it decently. I mean, you're not a couple, there's no special bond shared (except in the confinement of a four-walled space), and the minute he met someone he started acting like a total jerk and treating you like a tramp.
YOU SHOULD FORGET HIM.
I have read this article about breaking-up. Though you were not officially boyfriend&girlfriend to have a formal break-up, still I hope this helps. Read on:
A friend of a friend has called her ex-boyfriend six times since he broke up with her. I told my friend to bestow my breaking up advice on her. Whether you want someone back or not, if you follow the rules below, you will maintain your dignity, maybe win the person back, or eventually get over them:
1. Ride Off Into The Sunset
In college I took a class called "American Western Movies". Give me a break, ok? It was summer session. But this class did teach me something. I learned I wanted to be a cowboy. They are so cool, collected, never play their hand, never look rattled, and they are always confident.
One thing they all did was ride off as the sun set on the horizon after their business was done.
Riding off into the sunset keeps our dignity. When a guy breaks up with me, I will say:
"OK, it was great getting to know you over the past (insert length of time).You take care."
My business is done.
Then, I will figuratively ride off into the sunset. I won't tell him how much I miss him. I won't tell him he made a mistake. I won't call, email or text. I won't mention him to mutual friends. I'll be gone from his life.
Suddenly, it will dawn on the guy that he is not getting his money's worth for this breakup. It is true: people who do the breaking up have an air of power to them. They like being the decision maker, and having the control. But after I walk away like it's no problem, he'll start to think:
"Wow, why isn't she shaken up over this? Did she even care that I broke up with her?"
Or even better, the ever-popular and coveted:
"Did I do the right thing breaking up with her?"
That's when you know you're in business.
2. Apply the Wizard of Oz Effect
Of course, most likely, we are in total pain and anguish after a break up. But, we can't let that show. Remember:
"Pay no mind to that man behind the curtain?"
We can, behind the curtain, cry, complain, yell, be angry, and hurt. But, we must craft the appearance on the outside of being fine with everything. We need to look happy on the outside to the other person 100% of the time we see them post-breakup.
This also gives the illusion that you might be seeing someone else, or that you've got other things going on. Of course you're miserable and there's NOTHING going on in your life, but they don't have to know it!
3. Enact the Verb in "Breaking Up"
Get rid of all evidence of them -- put it all in a closet, under your bed, or anywhere. I'm a sucker for a strand of hair or his shampoo smell left on a pillow after a guy is over. After the breakup, this must go: wash the sheets! Remember, in breaking up, to think of it like a guillotine: make it fast.
On a guillotine, you'd rather have a sharp blade slice your head right off than a blunt blade repeatedly cut and cut until your head finally fell off.
If it's a break up they want, make it clean for them. It will look good, and it will be easier on you. Flush them right out of your life immediately, and completely.
4. Don't Look Back
It's hard to accomplish this. We know not to look back, just like we know not to look down when someone says don't look down...but we still look down. But, make it easy on yourself: looking back and saying stuff like:
"Gosh, just two weeks ago,we were out to dinner and she stayed over here and we were so close..."
...will just make it more painful. You can't look back until it's time to look back when you're truly over it.
5. Remember You'll Get Over It
The best thing about breaking up is those following mornings you wake up after you've truly gotten over someone. You're renewed, alive, and ready to see what the world has to offer. Keep pushing through for this feeling, remember all those people you thought you'd never get over (you know you ended up getting over them), and as Jim Morrison once crooned: "break on through to the other side!"
Well I don't know about you, but after going through all that, I'm inspired to get dumped!
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Oh huni... Dump his ass!!!
I actually thought you were a friend of mine because shes having the EXACT same problem but it didnt go for 3 years.
Dump him. Its hard to forget about him because you like/love him but you need to move on. All he wanted out of you was a fuck.
He is a sleeze and a liar. Sorry if i was so blunt.
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