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What should I think about this situation?
My ex boyfriend is trying to get back with me. However he doesnt know I have another bf already nobody really knows about him except for my really close friends because I didnt want any gossip, drama, and my mom doesnt like him that much (she doesnt really like anybody that much). However, I found out that he asked one of my really good friends to be his girlfriend as well. I talked to him about it and he admitted it. He said that me and her are both beautiful and that he likes her a lot but he really loves me and that he didnt want to be alone and anyways he knew that she was going to say no. This sounds kind off like player to me but he denies it...I feel kind off like....okay so im your back up plan? no it doesnt work that way... he got mad when I told him what I thought...and i dated him for 5 months and know he´s a good guy. Lately a lot of my "friends" true faces came up...so I dont really know what to think... am I right to think that he´s just playing with me....and that...hes and idiot? in my eyes hes trying to get together with two girls since one was obviously going to say no then theres the back up one....Im nobody´s backup...and i have someone who loves me and truly cares about me....what should I say? am I right to think this way? Im 17 female...
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You could be very right. Why did you break
up in the first place? Look there first.
If nothing has changed then don't even
think about it. Just tell him nothing has
changed and life is to short to keep making
the same ones over and over again.
If you have a guy who loves you and you
feel the same, don't mess it up. Just tell
the ex that you have moved on. Tell him you
are seeing someone, he doesn't need the details.
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One game people play is this...
"I really want to get my girlfriend back, but I don't think she wants me anymore. I know what I'll do! I'll make her jealous. I'm going to ask out her really good friend. I can't lose. If she gets pissed, I will know she still likes me(or at least get the satisfaction of knowing she is jealous), if she doesn't get pissed than I will know she doesn't like me, but at least she will think I'm over her because I asked out someone else."
The worst part is, it kind of worked, huh. You have a boyfriend, but now you're busy wondering about your ex and actually considering getting back with him. He is probably getting more attention from you since he asked out your friend than he did when he was your boyfriend.
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This guy does sound like he's just trying to find someone. If he only wanted you and seriously loved you, then he'd be only after you. Obviously he just wants someone to have someone regardless of who it is. You say you're in a good relationship with a guy who you know loves you now, so why are you fooling with this guy??
It doesn't matter what you tell him either. You don't even have to respond to him. You shouln't worry about what he wants. He may be a good guy, but maybe he's only interested now because you're taken and he can't have you. Isn't that how it always is, it drives them crazy when you're over it and you're happy with someone else??
Nobody asks someone out if they know they're going to say "no" just for the heck of it. I'd just leave this guy alone or it may jeopardize the relationship you're in now.
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I think your right. Just tell him you have somebody better and that you don't want to be anyone's back-up gf.-The truth. If it hurts him, Oh well, he deserves it. What he did was stupid. If he really 'loves' you than he would have never asked your friend out. Sounds to me like he's just tired of being single-and nobody want's him. LoL.
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You are absolutely right to think he's an idiot.
It's not abnormal, or even really a bad thing, to like more then one person at once, but to admit it the way he did to you and be puruing both at once, yeah, that smacks of either deep stupidity or total self-absorbtion.
However, if you have been otherwise happy with him, just write it off as wierd and stupid thing he did, not something that makes him a 'player'. If he has been otherwise good for five months, it's more likely he is just a dumbass then a player.
Whatever you do, don't go back to your ex. Exes are exes for a reason, and normally it's a damn good one.
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