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little sister vs boyfriend
ok. i'm a 17 year old girl and have been dating my current boyfriend for 14 months. My 13 year little sister doesn't like him,.....at all. as in can't stand him! Every time I hang out with him or he comes over, she feels like I'm ignoring her feelings and picking HIM over her and my family. Here's the thing, my sister is the only one in my family (which includes her and 2 little brothers, and my parents) who doesn't like him.....I've tried to split my time between the 2 of them, but she still acts almost jealous anytime a spend time with or talk about my boyfriend...I'm a very family oriented person, so the fact that I can't invite my boyfriend to family parties because my sister dislikes him really hurts me. He's starting to get tired of it, too. He's also family oriented and his family always make me feel like I'm already part of the family. I don't know what else to do. I've talked to her about it, and she just won't see reason......I'm not trying to get her to like him, just tolerate him and not be such a brat whenever he's around or a say something about him.
wow....that was a vent-session and a half....
Any advice?
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Well first off Im not saying you have to be mean, but you have to be more assertive. Tell your sister to explain to you why she doesnt like your boyfriend. And if she refuses, tell her that your basically trying to reason with her, and point out to her that you've been the best sister you can be by not allowing him to come over, even if it meant hurting your feelings for her. So the least she could do is explain herself. That should soften her up, from what she explains to you your solution would probably come to you easily.
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Talk to your mom and dad.
Your sister doesn't need you to coddle her. She needs to be parented and to have a firm talking too about respecting other family members boundaries and relationships, as well as respecting guests in the home. She isn't just being a brat, she is being rude and childish. Mom and Dad are the two people who should address that and you should be able to ask them too.
Keep making some special time for her, WHEN your boyfriend isn't a around. When he is, explain to her simply that this your special time with him, and you and she can have special time later.
You are right to not try to change her mind, she's allowed not to like him, she is even allowed to say not-nice things, you should shrug such things off unless she is being rude directly to him. When she is being rude, ignore her, and talk to your parents about how they can help you address this.
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