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the last straw!
my mom and i have a pretty good relationship. we've always had a pretty good relationship. except for maybe one minor detail that's not so minor..... she's obsessed with me! she is absolutely and totally out of control sometimes. there's one thing that REALLY bothers me. she goes on my facebook and she spies on me like if i were a little kid. i've changed my password various times, and when i do she doesnt leave me alone until i tell her what it is. she just won't leave me alone. and then, i have to tell her because i'll be studying or reading or about to leave to the gym, doing something PRODUCTIVE with my life, instead of looking at facebook, and there she is, bothering me. so, i kind of have to tell her. but, i think its going to rain on her parade soon because i'm turing 18 in two weeks. she can't continue like this! it's super annoying! it makes me feel like a kid, and i'm just not a little kid anymore. not to mention that it's super annoying! not because i'm hiding anything from her, because i'm not. but, it just makes me self-conscious, u noe what i mean? i don't like that. she's been spying on me like this every since i was 13, and today is just the last straw. it's the first thing that she does in the morning when she wakes up. she goes straight to the computer and checks my facebook. she goes on and she checks mine, and then she goes and checks my boyfriends facebook and then she checks my ex's facebook, his gilfriends, and then my boyfriend's ex. then, when i ask her why she does that she says that she has to keep tabs on people. it's like an obsession! it's NOT NORMAL! she really needs to get a grip on it. another thing is that she's EXTREMELY disorganized and she's adopted my room for her disorganization. i hate it because i am like OCD organized and she's made a mess of my room. she thinks that she's a teenager and she's turned this into a typical messy teenager's room, and i'm almost out of the teenager realm. she's been out of it for a while, and she's still at it, making messes inmy worm. what the hell/ right now, i just looked on my desk, and in everything that's thrown i find a tricky worm. obviously, it's NOT mine. i wouldn't spend money on something unecessary like that. i'm an only child, and i live with my grandparents too. it's obviously not THEIRS. you see what i mean? HELP!
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I completely see your point, but we dont know why you mother is obligated to "keep tabs on people" It could be that she is overly obsessed and its not normal, or she could be a mother that is trying to act cool and keep up with what is going on. First, to get to know your situation a little better, I had a few questions:
Do you talk to your mom about your personal life (meaning bf's, stuff like that)
Did you ever have a serious conversation with your mom about how you truely feel?
I think that you should first sit down with her and have a serious conversation that implies how you truely feel about her always having your password, and you think its a little too much checking it EVERY day. But when you tell her, try to tell her in a calm way, as nice as possible. This will help open up your communication with each other, and have her really listen to you (as to where an argument you will have lack of communication.) Also, I think that that you should tell her that you want to keep things private to you, like for your password, I suggest telling her that you will be happy to update her on whats going on in your life, or you will log her on, but her having your passowrd just isnt acceptable.
As for the messy room:
Do you have a guest room in your house? if you do, perhaps you could ask your mom if she would kindly move her stuff into that room, not yours.
That is also something you need to discuss with her, you need to tell her that you are very particular with how you keep things in your room, and start out by telling her that if she would like to stay in your room, to clean up the mess that she makes. That will progress into later asking her to use a different room for her mess.
Good luck with this, and please update me on how this goes!!! If you have any other questions, comments, or concerns, you can contact me on my advice site, xosodapopx3
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I definitely see your point with you mom being obssessed with your life and the people around you. I would definitely consider buying a lock for your room. Also there are programs that you can download to lock your computer with a password. I suggest coming up with a password so difficult even you can't remember it. Maybe write it down somewhere safe. Why not set up a facebook with an anonymous name that only you and your friends know about. This way she can't spy on you if she doesn't know what it is. Also think of a password that is so hard that even you can't remember and write it down somewhere safe. I suggest a bunch of random numbers. If she continues to act this way, you may want to consider getting a full-time job and moving out when you turn 18. If you can't wait that long then emancipation is always an option. This option helps you gain legal right of yourself at any age.
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