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family on me about never having a boyfriend
18 years old female, will be turning 19 in a couple of months.
i'm pretty outgoing, i love meeting new people, i think i am pretty which makes me confident, but not cocky. alot of guys always like me but i never like them back. and if i do have feelings for them too, i push them away. maybe it is because i'm scared to be in a relationship but i am picky, so it's hard for me to find someone i like, and who likes me back. i'm still a virgin, and proud of that and i know it's not a factor in me being single my whole life. my brother is 21 and getting married in a year, and is always making fun of me how i'm going to be single my whole life and i'm never going to find anyone and my parents laugh about it? which makes me feel down on myself, and makes me give up hope. my WHOLE family always bugs me and when i see them they always ask, "have a boyfriend yet?" which gets annoying beyond belief. i am a freshman in college, but i commute and i'm not into the whole "partying" thing, and i don't trust college guys, i've heard some of my friends say that 4 guys have said "we're not looking for a relationship, it's college!!" which makes me not want to trust them. also i just come here for school and go home, since its 30 minutes away. i know people say, you're 18 you have your whole life but i don't want to be a 30 year old, having their first boyfriend you know. i've always dreamed of like having kids when i was around 23-25, and now i feel like i'll never find anyone and everything will be thrown off... i am scared to like get physical with a guy, even kiss a guy which could also be a factor in me not having a boyfriend. i think people think so highly of me(sorry not to sound conceded), and think i've done all this stuff with guys because they all think i'm so pretty and then they try to get with me and i'm like ahhhh!! don't know what to do. i'm just really depressed about this, i've always thought about it since i was a freshman in high school.
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You can't be scared of a relationship. Getting hurt is part of being in a relationship. It's a good thing you are still a virgin that is something you want to lose to some special i wish i would have shared it with my fiance. Makes friends with a guy you dont have to rush thigs there are plenty of time. if he feels like rushing you into things ask him to back off if he doesn't drop him he isnt worth the time. getting to know a guy friend wise is safe you know some about him. Jumping into a relationship is how you get hurt the most. In a relationship you have to be open minded or at least try to. A guy may make a little mistake and your upset show him your upset but give him another chance to make things right. All college guys aren't bad you just have to find the good ones. going to a party doesnt mean you have to drink or anything. its a good way to make friends and meet guys. good luck
as far as your family. ignore them. everything will happen soon enough.
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In life, you don't bother about mixing YOUR personal life with what people think!
I know alot of people who haven't gotten a boyfriend as yet and they're almost your age as well.
You won't turn into the 'cat lady'..trust me, you won't. You have alot of time to find someone you want to be with. If you think you turn down people too much, just lower your standards. We can't all find Mr. Right with our first try right?!
And don't be peer pressured into having meaningless relationships or sex. When the time is right we all find someone, even if they're not 'THE ONE'.
Good luck!
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Long answer, sorry. :)
First of all, a lot of people haven't had a boyfriend at your age. I didn't have a boyfriend until I was a sophomore in college. Now I am 26 and have only had two serious boyfriends. I have been with my current boyfriend for 6 years.
Maybe you should try going on dates with some guys. You don't have to make them your boyfriend right away, just hang out with them as friends. Being picky isn't a bad thing. It just means you know what you want. You are way ahead of people much older than you in that respect. However, you'll never get to know anyone if you don't give them a chance.
If you are worried about the physical stuff then stick to group dates or stay in public places at first. That will keep the pressure off you. It's true that a lot of college guys are only after one thing, but that's not true about all of them. You seem smart so I think you'll be able to tell the difference.
Try not to put your life on a time line. Saying "I want to be married by 22 and I want to have kids by 23" puts a lot of pressure on yourself. You may end up settling for someone because you want to meet your deadlines. I had a friend that did that and now she is pregnant and in an unhappy marriage. People are getting married and having kids much later in life now. We live so much longer so it doesn't have to be a race.
As far as your family goes, I think you need to tell them that their comments bother you. Tell them it is annoying, rude and makes you feel bad. If they love you and want you to be happy they should respect how you choose to live your life.
I've always found it is when you stop looking for a guy and stop worrying about it that things start to fall into place.
Sorry this is so long. Feel free to write if you want to talk more.
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