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To get payback or not
Let's just say that my ex-girlfriend has done plenty of evil things to me, including messing with my current love life, and attempting to get me banned from places for "stalking" even though they were my hangouts before I met her, and such.
And at the moment, an opportunity to get back at her without consequence has arisen. Keep in mind, it's nothing illegal or life-threatening, more like a really really elaborate prank.
Some of my friends think I'm within my rights to play said prank, while others think that I should just not do it.
The problem is, I don't think the woman is going to back the hell off me unless I do something.
So, should I do the deed, or just try and tolerate the bulls**t?
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Sounds like you have a resentment. I should know, I've had lots of them. Resentments are like drinking rat poison and waiting for the other person to die.Get on with life!!
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It would have helped if you stated what this elaborate prank was, but I think you know the more mature thing to do is tolerate it.
Just leave it and act like whatever she's doing really isn't bothering you at all - and that you are happy with your current life.
She will soon get bored once she realizes her games aren't working.
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I'm deeply confused by the idea that you can do something 'without consequence' that will cause her to back off.
Because, that would imply that she will notice the prank and be able to hold you responsible for it... so that can't be 'without consequence', that's just ‘without any consequence I can immediately identify.’
So, the pragmatist in my has to advise against upping the stakes in a game you don’t want to be playing, with someone who has already established that they are capable of being far nastier then you. If she can catch you or even suspect you, then there is no way you’ll get off consequence free.
Then of course, there is the moral argument. Morally, you aren’t entitled to being an asshole or going out of your way to make another person more miserable then they might have otherwise been. That just isn’t right. It might feel good, it might feel justified, and you might even choose to do that. But it’s not ‘right’ in any sense of the word. It’s just what you feel like doing.
Life provides more options then simply “Be an asshole, or put up with an asshole” but to find them, you must be creative, you must be empathetic and you must let a bit of your pride go. Pride and a sense of entitlement is the gateway to asshole behavior. Pride and a sense of entitlement is likely the way your ex became the person she is today. Each step you take down that path, even though you will likely never become as unpleasant as her, is still a step closer to her.
So, the three reasons NOT to do it:
Pragmatic: Take a look at the universe around and accept that it probably isn’t going to work out exactly the way you want it too. There are more factors at play then you can ever control, and frankly, the universe doesn’t take pity on a jilted lover the way romantic comedies might lead you to believe.
Moral: You don’t deserve to make someone’s life more miserable then it might otherwise be. No one human being is entitled to do that to another simply for kicks, regardless of what was done to them.
Dangerous Precedent: No matter how you swing it, you are, in some small way, beginning your descent to her level.
Now, if you choose too anyways, at least don’t lie to yourself. Don’t kid yourself with false rationalizations or weak justifications: You aren’t doing it because she deservers it. You aren’t doing it because it’s justifiable. You aren’t doing it because you are entitled too. You are simply doing it because you WANT too.
If you want to behave like an asshole, fine. Lord knows that is choice I’ve made some days, so I can’t hold it against you. But call a spade a spade.
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honestly, i'd go for it, especially if talking to her wont work. sometimes it just feels good to get payback. i plotted revenge against my x-bf for doing me wrong. as long as its nothing illegal, and wont hurt her or anything like that, go have fun! haha. there's no reason to put up with her BS.
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Well clearly she isn't over you (i'm guessing YOU ended it?) I think playing a prank on her will just hurt her more (even if she is psycho) and won't solve anything, but just give you the satisfaction. Talk to her. Don't start out with "i can see you're still hung up on me" Just say something like you don't appreciate her messing up your life just because she wants to get back at you because she's just stooping lower than you. Tell her you didn't mean to hurt her or treat her liked a tissue (use once and throw away) or whatever she feels you did. But also make it clear you don't mean to sever all ties. You can still talk and such. Maybe she'd like that. I dunno.
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