|
A smell of the past....
So for the past 8 months I have been dating my boyfriend Anthony whom I absolutely love to death! He has been nothing but wonderful to me and has treated me like a princess. Way back in high school I date this kid James who I went out with for only 2 months...but something happened tonight that freaked me out. James was my first kiss and boyfriend.
Anthony smelled just like James...and I felt when I kissed him I was kissing James. Anthony took a shower and he no longer smelled like James but I keep thinking this is more then deja vu. I don't know what it is...could it be closure? I'm not sure. James and I really don't talk but he will randomly text, call, or even IM me...when we haven't talked for over several months.
What should I do? HELP ME PLEASE!
Signed,
InLoveWiThAS
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Work/School Relationships?
That's completely normal- it happens to everyone. Our minds can store tons of information and memories, even random things like the way something tastes, sounds, and in your case, smells. We have strong senses, and at the most random of times, these senses can become aroused, especially when we're reminded of something nostalgic, or even a "first" (your first boyfriend). That's why out of the blue you got reminded of James, and it was almost like you were kissing him, instead of Anthony. It's nothing to worry about. I was dating a guy a couple years ago who always smelled of Head & Shoulders shampoo. To this day, I cannot smell that shampoo without getting reminded of him- whether I want to or not. The first guy I was serious with had a musky/cologne type of scent, and I swear, if I were with another guy that smelled similar, I would be in the same position as you. Even the way someone looks- if someone has "his eyes," I am instantly intrigued.
So, just think of this as nothing more than a normal human function. You say you love your boyfriend to death, and that he treats you wonderfully. That's another reason for you not to look too deeply into this. I think you should continue doing what you have been doing- focus on your boyfriend, and if you want, keep a cordial friendship with your ex. Just remember: the human mind works in mysterious ways.
]
you'll always have feelings for your first love, or even your first kiss. just because you and james are not together anymore doesn't mean that you can't think about him and still care about him, even if you guys rarely talk. be honest with anthony and tell him that he reminded you of an ex boyfriend, but let him know how appreciative you are that you have him in your life.
]
you will always remember your first boyfriend, and your first kiss. i think that james is always going to be a special person in your life because he was the first person who cared about you even if it only was for two months. i wouldn't necessarily break things off with anthony if thats what your thinking about doing. just like how people say you will always remember your first love, but that doesn't mean that they have to keep going back to them while they are in a good relationship with someone else they care about. trust me, i know it's hard trying to forget about james and focusing on anthony. i had this trouble with my first love and my second boyfriend but i realized that things didn't work out with my first boyfriend for a reason and the second boy i was with made me happy, and he actually cared for me and i didn't want to lose that because i couldn't get over my first boyfriend. you have to keep looking forward, don't look at the past it's over with :) if you really want to try and forget about james, stop texting him and answering his phone calls because that really does make it harder but it would be awesome if you could still be friends with him without it ruining your current relationship because i understand he is a special person in your life, you shared your first kiss with him, he was your first boyfriend and i wouldn't want you to completely forget about that. i am still really good friends with my first boyfriend, but i realized that there is more out there, and that i need to look ahead because there is so much out there waiting for me. what's meant to be, will happen. if you need anything else hun let me know and good luck i know you'll make the right decision ♥ LU
]
More Questions: |