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the passion in our relationship is disappearing
I'm in a serious relationship but there's a problem. I love my boyfriend (I'm female...sorry :P) but I'm not physically attracted to him anymore. Like I think he's hot (because really, he is!:P) but when he tries to kiss me or hug me I just roll my eyes - I just don't want to do it back to him.
I used to love hugging and kissing him but now there's just something in me thats died. I only have two (pretty lame) theories: 1. I've been finding studying and work stressful (I just started a new job) and I thought that may have something to do with it and 2. I started taking the pill about 4 or 5 months ago and I've heard that can effect that sexual drive - or what ever it's called.
Anywho, my question is does anyone know what could be causing this? And any ideas on how to overcome it?
Thanks heaps
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It could be a number of things stress could be a factor but in any long term relationship if you dont find new ways to keep the flame going it will die.That is what's happening to you as we speak but be very careful.If you still care about him he needs that affection from you.As a man even though we act like we dont we do need to be comforted in a genuine way by a woman.Now if you wont do this another woman who has been eyeing your man will take advantage of the situation.So it's very important that you go the extra mile spend time together.Think about what you liked about him before you got together with him.Because if you keep what your doing up your relationship will be over very soon.
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I think that you should definitely talk to your doc about the pill.
But I presume that you have got so used to your bf that it is affecting your sexual attraction towards him. I've been through the same thing and I somehow understood that even though I still loved him, i was at such a stage of my life that other things were more important to me than sex (that, for you, could be your work) Also, we made out frequently in the one year I was with my bf which, towards the end, made it very meaningless and boring. Probably if you wait for sometime and then make out, i think both of you will have a good time (because the whole desire thingy might build up inside) lol ...
Best of luck, sweetie...
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I would also suspect the pill first, research that angle first. I know from experience that the pill is very effective at killing a womens sex drive and is stated as a side effect. Talk to your doctor, another form of the pill may change this for you, but I wouldn't bet on it. You have to remember that the pill stops you from getting pregnant by fooling your body into making it think your pregnant, there are going to be these kinds of side effects to them.
To give you a third option; You may have reached the highest point of liking this young man and it is not high enough for you to be full filing. I have found that love has only one level and it never truly stops, but like has many stages and if you can't get to the point where you are both each others best friend and confidant, you will never feel whole together. Don't jump on this one right away, reaching the best friend stage takes a long time.
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