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I'm the other "woman!"
I met this guy over the summer. we talked once. I met him on halloween at his big party. he kept flirting with me, he was really sweet. later on a bunch of us (guys from my school who he knew also & my cousins & her friends) all started party hopping. it was fun & he was such a sweetie all nite.
After that night, we talkedd on aim a lot. I was really starting to like him.! so I realized that one of my friends knew him and I asked her about him. she told me; "oh yea. are u guys talking?" I said we were just attracted to each other but weren't talking like that." then she said "oh because you know he has a gf of 10 months!" WOWWWW. I told her I'd confront him & I did. he called me and he admitted he did, but I had reminded him of his 1st love. we talkd on the phone more for about 2hours. I knew I should hav just got off the phone after I asked and been done. he kept flirting & I wuldnt flirt back & he'd say "gosh you remind me of her so much blah." ugggh. its so wrong.
the next week my cousin and I had a house to ourselves & her & him talk as friends & she wanted him to come over. I said ok, so we could all hang out. We watched funny youtube videos. I was really starting to like him unfortunately.! We were watching a movie & got bored & started talking. We were talking TOO much, started kissing, & stuff happened, but not sex. I am NOT the type of girl to do that I don't know why I did that. after we were done. We talked for about an hour. he said he felt really bad & I did too. I asked about his girlfriend and it sounded like she didn't have time for him. she never shows up to any of his football games, she never calls them, they text only after school, and never wants to hang out over the weekend. I can say I didn't believe him at first, but our mutual friend agreed.
The next night he invited us to a party. We got lost & he left the party super far away to meet us. he even took his friends car. But anyways, All of his gf's friends were there except her. We then left with him in different cars & stayed later.
But wow. I feel really bad. He really wants me to his game friday. I want to, but I just want to be done with him. I'm disappointed in myself, I know what it feels like to be cheated on. I don't know how to let him go? wat to say or anything?
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::Edit - Response to feedback::
You did screw up. Messing around with guys in relationships is no go. But people make mistakes and it doesn't sound like you pursued him without regard to his status, you just like him. The badness is more on his side than yours.
That being said, I understand unhappiness. If he truly ISNT happy and he's straying, he needs to nut up and break up. Part of becoming a man is learning to make the tough choices when theyre the ones you need to make.
Plus, you havent given me any indication that hes lied to you. It sounds like he's a decent guy who has screwed up because he is screwed up (in the head) and doesn't know how to get himself out of his situation.
Your job is to stand back. If you want him, tell him so, but don't see him again until he can take you out on a date as a single guy.
Tell him to break up with his girlfriend and date you. Tell him you can't see him again until he does that, because you don't want to be just friends and you don't want to be his "other woman"
Tell him that you don't deserve less, and you'll do more for him than she will. If he tells you all these things and can't leave her, then either he's lying or has some dependency issues you don't want to deal with.
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holyyyy, i am going through this too girl. my BEST FRIEND has a girlfriend of a year, and wants to hook up with me. of course i like the kid, i would hook up with him but i would feel too guilty. i'm always like you know i want to, but you know whats holding me back and thats your girlfriend. he acts like it's no big deal. well we've been talking and everytime we hang out, he tries to do something sexual with me, i push him away. last weekend, he told me him and his girlfriend were on a break so now i don't know what to do. sorry i went on about myself but i just wanted to show you how i handled it. and so i think you should talk to this kid straight up. tell him that you really like him, but can't do anything while he has a girlfriend. ask him why he stays with her, if he is trying to get with other girls. thats what i said to my best friend. as for the football game, you can go if you want to. it's not like your breaking any rules, you just want to watch "a friend" ;) play. i've realized that i need to move on because i don't want to be inbetween this anymore. if him and his girlfriend broke up i wouldn't want it to be because of me and if me and him did end up going out i think i would have trust issues with him because i would always be worried he is with other girls. hunnie it's extremely hard, trust me i know but if you know it's the right thing to do you have to be strong! there are probably other guys out there dying to be with you, while your caught up in someone who is already taken. you will get through this, you deserve the best. if you need anything i'm always open to talk. ♥ LU
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