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Suicide
Now I have come to the final stage of my life, because all the decisions I have taken in my life is wrong. Also I can’t say all of them are wrong because I had some obstacles and it came from my family. Even I can’t go with my decision and also I can’t ignore my family. No one understood me in my life. I am having a good career but career is not all in life as I haven’t found a peaceful day in my life. I have lost all my happiness when I came to abroad. I have tried to get back to my country but my parents didn’t let get back. So I have decided to suicide in life. Everyone I know in my surroundings betrayed with me. I assumed if I get married I will be satisfied and finally I got married with a greedy girl 3 moths ago who has destroyed my life and I am getting divorce soon. I have tried to manage her but she was impossible for me now people in this bloody world will point out me as a bad one. I feel sorry for my parents as they have tried a lot for me. I think I am getting mentally sick. GOD please…take me off from this world….I need to sleep forever and ever. Please please please. But I will miss my little brother, he is really cute. I love him so much. Is it possible to get die while I am sleeping? I have hurt myself a lot and that’s why I don’t want to hurt myself anymore. I don’t understand, why GOD sent me to this world if GOD can’t let me live happily in this selfish world.
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God knew you before you were born..he put you in this world because you have something to give..i was suicidal for a while but i'm fine now..i think you could live without a woman but if you think that's what you need..she'll come to you..make new friends, trust no one. evil put obstacles in you way, to test you..don't fall, keep going..besides, what if something good was supposed to happen to you right after you committed suicide..take chances...here's something i want you to read..it's really long but it's worth it:This is from me to you. This is the truth. How many times have my wishes and my dreams and my prayers for you hidden beneath my breath? How many times have i looked at you, heart in my throat, hands in my pockets, a smile on my face, just wanting to say..I HOPE YOU NEVER LOSE YOUR SENSE OF WONDER. What is hope? To want? To desire? To expect that what's envisioned may indeed happen? YES to all of the above. Is hope that gut feeling that it's worth holding out and hanging on for just a little longer? ABSOLUTELY. Is hope the core of the human condition? CERTAINLY. Can you have hope without faith and humility and wonder? THAT'S TOUGH. Just the thought that there's something bigger, something truer, something totally surprising out there waiting for us is...priceless. What would you be without hope growing deep in your bones, thriving in every inch of you? NOTHING. What does it take to hope? EVERYTHING. Hope takes never ceasing to be amazed...Wearing your soul on your sleeve...Holding your breath, waiting to hear "I love you, too..." Believing that tomorrow could be better than today...That you'll get a second chance...that you'll make a difference...that you matter. YOU GET YOUR FILL TO EAT BUT ALWAYS KEEP THAT HUNGER. Hunger is the wanting: to see more, to feel more, to touch more, to crave, desire, search out, find, hold more. And sometimes hunger hurts more. But go on, go west, young man, young woman. Plow the land, plant the seeds, grow the food for the whole wide world. MAY YOU NEVER TAKE ONE SINGLE BREATH FOR GRANTED. So breathe out and breathe in (and soak it all up). GOD FORBID LOVE EVER LEAVE YOU EMPTY-HANDED..but if it does, may it leave you patient and stronger, willingand wiser, tender and tougher. I HOPE YOU STILL FEEL SMALL WHEN YOU STAND BESIDE THE OCEAN. If you're ever lying on a beach with 80 billion grains of sand beneath you, 700 thousand ocean waves before you, 60 million stars stretched out above you, and you're still not at all impressed, I want you to think about this: The light you see reflecting from the stars is over one million years old. WOW. But then, just before you start to feel like a mere blip in the gigantic scheme of things, please remember this: Yes, you are small, but you're also irreplaceable and invaluable and miraculous. Those stars don't have anything on you. WHENEVER ONE DOOR CLOSES I HOPE ONE MORE OPENS. DOORS..Holes in walls that offer us a way out or a way in. Just putting your hand on the knob and seeing if it turns can make you weak in the knees. What if it's locked? What if it's unlocked? What if no one answers? What if someone does? What if the hinges creak and the heavy wood swings open and you're suddenly standing at the threshold of a brand new tomorrow? What if your horizon is nothing but blue clear skies? What if it's a raging storm? What if ? What if? What if? PROMISE ME THAT YOU'LL GIVE FAITH A FIGHTING CHANCE. A PROMISE IS ALL ABOUT FAITH. A PROMISE IS ONLY AS STRONG as your own faith in your own self, in your own god. So when you swear, in light of your strengths and in spite of your weaknesses, to struggle and follow through, you are doing a beautiful thing. AND WHEN YOU GET THE CHOICE TO SIT IT OUT OR DANCE..I HOPE YOU DANCE. Let the music move you, let the moment take your hand, let it lead you out into the middle of the dance floor and embrace you. Dive off the high board, Ride with the top down, Thrive like a wildflower, and sing (who cares what you sound like) with a voice all your own. I HOPE YOU NEVER FEAR THOSE MOUNTAINS IN THE DISTANCE..It's crossing your fingers when the map doesn't know truly north from truly lost; and it's up to you-you and your gut and your mettle, and your level of resilience, and your wealth of wisdom-to persevere. To get to the other side. To hope. NEVER SETTLE FOR THE PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE. (That's too easy. What follows is too interesting.) LIVING MIGHT MEAN TAKING CHANCES, BUT THEY'RE WORTH TAKING. Ask Eve. Evolve. Take a chance, take a ticket, take a fast train to the coast. No guts, no glory. Chance (n.): a coin with two sides that one tosses into the air as many times as one wants. The odds remain the same.....It's risky breathing, let alone needing, trusting, reachng out. Life is the leap of faith, the bold declaration of Hope. ATTENTION THIS IS REALLY BIG STUFF! THIS IS THE CRUX OF THE WHOLE ADVENTURE! LOVING MIGHT BE A MISTAKE, BUT IT'S WORTH MAKING...love, love, love. You have to love, and if you don't get love right, you have to move on and forgive. And then you have to remember that you've forgiven, or else you can't move on. And if you don't move on, you'll surely end up...bitter.DON'T LET SOME HELL-BENT HEART LEAVE YOU BITTER (AND DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU)...There are too many people too angry at a world that isn't in the least bit angry at them...WHEN YOU COME CLOSE TO SELLING OUT, RECONSIDER.. YOU (a haiku) one worth so much to me, to us, to life as such. A bowl of cherries. GIVE THE HEAVENS ABOVE MORE THAN JUST A PASSING GLANCE. Heaven(n.) : (1) a place somehow high above the clouds, yet deep inside your soul; (2) a place of complete peace, of total and utter happiness; (3) a place that is greater than the sum of everything you will ever be or could ever imagine to be; (4) a place we all want to get to, but just not yet.... no not yet. AND WHEN YOU GET THE CHOICE TO SIT IT OUT OR DANCE...(AS YOU NOW WELL KNOW) I HOPE YOU DANCE..I hope you dance because Time. Time is a wheel. Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along. Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder...Where their years have gone. Ah, youth...new skin, wide smiles, clear eyes..the future so bright. If only we could bottle it, sip it now and again, and stay forever twenty-one, forever ten, forever five. I liked being five. But I'd also like to think that time and age are like cousins- they're relative. Who said you have to go by actual miles? If you didn't know how old you were, how old would you be? (me, I'm sticking with five.) I'll even argue that you can bottle youth. What you store it in is all up to you. (I suggest your heart.) If you can figure out a way to keep the energy and gumption and fire alive, you'll always stay young. And where there's youth, there's hope...where there's hope, there's wonder...where there's wonder, there's faith...where ther's faith, there's chance...where there's chance, there's love...where there's love, there's music...and dancing..So in my heart of hearts ..I HOPE YOU DANCE..I REALLY HOPE YOU DANCE..AMEN. WAIT...Promise me one more thing: if tomorrow you wake up feeling unoriginal or frail-hearted or faithless or tired of this world please start back up top..(or just message me) This book was written by Mark D. Sanders & Tia Sillers
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Life is what you make it. So get out there
and change whatever is making you miserable.
Will it be easy? No life isn't easy either.
Leave and divorce the greedy wife. If she
makes you miserable no need to stay around.
Just pack a bag and go your own way. If
others don't agree or approve of that, who
cares. Don't worry what others think, take
control of your life.
See a doctor. You sound depressed, a doctor
can help with that. Find someone to talk to
who is removed from your situation.
If you want to return to your country, make
that your goal. If you are old enough to
be married, your old enough to make some
decisions that your parents may not approve
of. Just save and save whatever you can each
week in an account just for that. Put
something in it every pay day until you
have enough to go. Yes, you'd miss your
family and they you if you left the country.
You'll miss them and they you if you killed
yourself too. Moving back is the better way
to go. :)
It isn't Gods job to make you happy. He
leaves that up to you. Start working on
it. Making yourself happy. Don't rely
on others. Wake up and take control
of your life.
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I see that there is a lot of turmoil in your life, but ending it is not the way to go.
So many things happen to people that cause us a lot of hurt and pain, but what we don't realize is that, eventually, it will get better. Our hearts will mend and the pain will soon go away.
4 years ago, my friends and I were out drinking at a party. I was the least drunk, and although I was only 13, they wanted me to drive. I didn't want to drive, though, because I knew I was a poor driver anyway, and being under the influence would make it worse. I tossed my best friend the keys, she drove herself home while the rest of us grabbed a cab, and I never saw her again.
I handed my best friend the keys that led to her death, and you know what? I'm still here.
For months, I wanted to die. I wanted to know why it was her and not me. Why was I, the person who allowed her to drive in her condition, still alive? What purpose could there be? God must have made a mistake! I even questioned whether or not there was a God. Who would do something as cruel as taking my best friend from me? It hurt me a lot emotionally, and the only way I could deal with that was through cutting and other self-harm behaviors. It was the only way for me to control my pain. My next step was wanting to kill myself. I wanted to die because I thought I deserved it. I thought everyone would be happy if I, the person who killed someone we loved, was out of this world. Nothing was going my way.
That's when I finally reached out to someone. I was nervous to do it, I was afraid she would tell me I deserved to die after what I did. I was scared out of my mind and extremely miserable. I was lucky, she told me that it wasn't my fault. That, while we made the wrong decision, there wasn't anything I could do to take it back, and I'd have to live with the bad in my life.
Here I am, 4 years later and a college student. I've done more than I ever hoped I could. I made it to the real world and I'm loving my life. I still think about that day that I was hurt so badly. I still think about the death of my best friend and the death of another person I loved just a few years after that. I still think about last year when my boyfriend almost died in a car accident and I wanted to die with him, a Romeo and Juliet type of thing - to be together forever. I still question God, I still question myself, I still question everything. I'm still hurting, but the pain is bearable; I can live with my mistakes and the mistakes of others.
Why am I telling you this? You need to learn that, with time, our lives improve. Pain we face now can stick with us forever, but with time, all pain becomes manageable.
Your best bet is to speak to some sort of psychiatrist. You could be suffering from a disorder that causes you emotional pain; there are a lot of those out there. Maybe, with the right medication or help, you can get better, feel better.
Think about your little brother. You say you'll miss him. Think of how much he will miss you! There are so many people on this earth that we don't realize how much they care about us. Your brother may blame himself for your suicide, as may others. People will think "is it something I did?" "What could I have done to stop this?" "I should have seen the signs!" etc. Do you really want the friends and family you have to go through that? I'm sure you don't.
Suicide is never the answer. There are so many means of getting help!!
God gives us obstacles to see if we are strong enough to find a way through them. He's testing our faith in Him. He wouldn't put us through such hard and difficult times if He didn't know that we could get through them.
Keep your head up and seek psychiatric help. I guarantee that it will be the best decision you can make in a time when you're feeling so down.
If there is ever a specific time where you are about to commit the act of suicide, wait 15 minutes. Call a friend, your brother, someone just to talk and let your frustrations out verbally.
Here is the suicide hotline website, it lists the numbers for each state (if you live in the US)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Or you can call 1-800-784-2433 or 1-800-273-8255
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