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sex offer? are you kidding!?
Okay so to explain my situation; I like this guy, alot and he likes me too. He just came out of a 3 year relationship, the day before we met. we've become very close, perhaps best friends with some extent of physicaly contact. We were discussing our situation yesterday where I explained to him that I liked him and I knew he wasn't ready for another relationship but I was ready to wait. He came back with a comment on how he felt special that he was my first kiss and that if I wanted him to be another first (hint hint) then all I needed to do was ask. Okay so he JUST tells me he doesn't want to ruch into anything yet he offers me to have sex with him, my first time. I'm so confused! I know he was nice about it and said he didn't want to push anything onto me he just wanted to be open bout the idea, but this is serious. I obviously said no, but that doesn't change the fact that it was said. I don't know what to do. I like him, buut..
All this first time nonesense could be confusing for you guys, I am 18 by the way, just to clear up the possibility of me being a young teen.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Keep in mind that women see sex as being
a part of a loving relationship (most women).
Men see it as sex. Most don't need the
love connection that most women want. I
don't think you should be offended, just
beware that he doesn't see it the same
as you do & is just wanting to have no
strings attached sex.
So, I don't advise having your first time
with someone where the love is lacking.
Give the relationship time. If nothing
comes of it, you'll be glad you waited.
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I think that you should be wary.
I'm not accusing the guy of being a jerk... I just think that two of you have very different, eerrr, long-term goals. From what you wrote... I'm guessing that you would like to be in a committed relationship, and share mutual feelings of love with a guy before giving him your virginity. And I'm also guessing that this guy we're talking about, since he is recovering from a break-up doesn't really want to start another relationship at this moment... And may be thinking that sex would just be a fun, recreational activity that both of you could participate in together.
So... If you don't want to have sex with him without some sort of committment... Beware. You don't necessarily have to discuss this with him. But if he continues to make you feel uncomfortable (because I think he is, even if you do like him) then by all means, say something. Explain what the act of sex means to you and what your standards are... And that if the two of you are going to remain friends he needs to respect the boundaries that you've set and kindly drop the subject. If he can't do that... Well, you know the rest.
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It sounds like he has a big physical attraction to you, which is good. The first time sex proposition is common in young men. Nothing is tighter than a virgin, and that's just fact. It's very typical for them to want to be your first for that alone.
You said no, and that's very good. I agree with that reaction, but don't kick him to the curb for that. He really can't help it. So long as he's not pushing you for it, he sounds like a nice guy. Worth waiting for, as long as he'll wait for you too.
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