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My Family Is Falling Apart.
A few nights ago my family had the first actualy sit down talk all together that we have ever had. In this talk everyone including my two brother cried along with my Mother and myself. My Father walked into this talk like he has nothing to change, but slowly discovered that we all had a problem with him and they all seemed to be the same. That my Father doesn't care. He doesn't care about his children, or his wife. My brother Scott is 20, and currently staying at my house for free. Only because my brother Jason is 18 and does not have a job at the moment. Well my Mother believes Scott shouldn't have to pay because Jason is unable to which I completely agree with. Scott said that the only time he talks to his Dad is when my Dads telling him to get the hell out, which really is the only time the talk. And I joked with him about it too about your 20 get out, get your own life. Move Out. So I apoligised to him... and told him I'm sorry, and that I love him and that I don't want him to leave. My Mother said that she didnt want him to leave, everyone did but my Dad which his opinion was the only one that mattered. So Scott moved out. Jason doesnt feel wanted here either, so he's just got aob and is planning on moving out with Jackson [[his BFF since like ever]]. In this talk my Mother admitted that she has had suicidal thoughts, and was planning on killing herself and that she went to the hostpital last week to get help. So my brothers are leaving, my Dad isn't someone I have fealt close with at all, and my Mother wants to kil herself. and the whole suicide thing hit my the hardest because i honestly didnt remember the last time I told her I loved her.
My Mother has said she will never forgive my Father for tearing this family apart, and I asked her if she was planning on leaving him and she didnt denie it. So I had her promise not to leave me.
Im only fourteen where will I go?
Well ever since then everythings gotten worse. My grades have always been an issue with me, and I struggle to get the grades I do.
There already slipping, because I refuse to do shit about my Father. I would rather fail.. and I dont want the teachers to know everything thats happening and i cant exactly bull through this..
I know you dont know how to solve my family issues but how do i explain to my teachers that I cant exactly do everything because im worried about my mothers life, where my brothers are at the moment and controlling myself from killing my father.=X yeh not exactly easy.
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Wow! I feel sorry for you! Okay, well first of all, i'm really sorry you are going through this. Being a teenaager is hard enough and now you have problems with family. What i would do is help your mom in ANY way you can. Don't leave her alone for long periods of time. If she is getting help, then support her through it, tell her you love her, give her a compliment every day. Make her feel like she is needed in the world. If i were you, i would talk to your conselor at school and tell them everything that you put on here. They will understand and help you! Hope this helps!
If you have any more questions or need help, just message me!
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Ouch, I can't say I know what you're going through, but I can say I've had to talk to a teacher because of personal issues effecting my grades.
I understand that you don't want your teachers to know everything, but you'll have to give them a little insight so they can better understand. Don't expect them to give you extra long deadlines or anything, but maybe they'll be willing to tutor you and give you an extra day or two for a test or big assignment.
Whether you sit them down one by one, or you have a meeting with all of your teachers, you need to speak with them. If you want to have the meeting with all of your teachers at once, it may be easy to go speak with your guidance councilor and tell him/her that you have some personal issues going on that you would like to discuss with your councilor and then you and your councilor can get together with all of your teachers and he/she can help you speak with them and see if there is anything you can do to raise your grades and to get extra help or extra time.
If you don't want them to know everything, you can tell them that there have been some issues going on and your brothers have to move out, your mother is sick and you're very worried about her health, etc.
Just know that, if you do this through guidance, they may want to speak to your parents or something along those lines.
If you want to speak to your teachers one on one, just give them a little insight. You don't have to get into the specifics. Just ask to speak to them after class or after school (because you never know, you may start crying and I'm sure you don't want to do that in front of everyone). Tell them that you have a lot of family issues going on right now and that you're having trouble concentrating in your classes. Ask if you can get some tutoring or maybe extra time on something. Also, ask if you can have any extra credit opportunities because you realize that your family issues are strongly effecting your grades and you don't want that to happen. If the teacher asks you what's going on, you can either say you don't want to talk about it or you can give the teacher a little info like your brothers are leaving and your worried about your moms health.
Most teachers would definitely respect that.
My freshman year of high school I had been dealing with a lot of personal issues which mostly revolved around the death of my best friend. I ended up going to a teacher about how I was feeling and she was a lot of help. It was better than talking to my guidance department because they would have informed my parents and that was the last thing I wanted. All of this happened my freshman year, but junior year I had a class that my grades were suddenly slipping in because I was going through some other stuff that kind of hit me. I never told that teacher about it (either of them), but the one who I had my freshman year must have sensed something because she told my teacher I was going through something, and the teacher raised my grade from failing to a C+. So it really does help to just talk to your teachers and let them in on at least some of what is going on in your life!!
If you need anything else, feel free to drop something in my inbox.
I am so sorry that you have to go through this. Stay strong and be there for your mom. Let her know every day how much you love her and want her in your life. Do the same with your brothers.
Good luck with everything!!
S_C
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