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18 and never had a boyfriend..
im 18 years old, female
i've never had a boyfriend before and i'll ive done is madeout with two guys and that was about two years ago. everytime someone hears that i have never had one they're all shocked because everyone tells me im gorgeous (and i do think im pretty, not trying to be conceited at all) its just that i dont know whats wrong with me. maybe i'm too picky but all these guys try to get with me and i always just see them as a friend and never anything more. im scared to kiss a guy or anything because it's been so long and i just dont know. i like this boy right now but has a girlfriend. he tried "fingering" me and i really wanted him too, but i just couldn't let myself do it. i feel so awkward doing that kind of stuff. all my family and friends are always like why dont you ever have a boyfriend! and im just like i dont know. im so worried about school right now because i just started college and i usually dont go looking for one. im outgoing around people i know, but i wont approach i guy i think is hot when im by myself. what do you guys think, what should i do im starting to get really depressed about this...
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
The rules of attraction are a fickle mistress.
Now, a key piece of information here is exactly why you say no, or see them as "friends"
The two reasons that are hinted at in your post are that either they aren't physically attractive enough for you, or you are just too nervous to let go enough to like them.
Regardless, you do seem to have somewhat high standards. Not a bad thing, but high standards are harder to meet. Trick it, you need to figure out exactly what your high standards mean. What exactly are you looking for?
Also, boy with girlfriend BAD! VERY BAD!
Sorry, old habit. Don't go after attached guys. Its always a bad idea to interfere with relationships, and especially seducing guys away from their girls. You set a precedent for the guy to cheat on some level, and you set yourself up for the same thing happening to you if you succeed.
Now. How to solve the problem.
First inkling is to tell you to seek older guys. It sounds from your post as if you are looking in your own age group. Guys and girls mature at different rates in different areas, and girls tend to mature in the areas that allow for decent stable relationships earlier than guys. Generally speaking, guys are more mature when relating to people they arent dating, while girls are more mature at relating to people they are dating.
So, go a little older if possible. At 18 don't go above 22-23, but a guy between 19 and 22 is probably more apt to be compatible with you.
Something else to think about. From what you've told me, you are operating a little to much in the physical. You talk about making out, and about almost letting a guy finger you.
Thats not what relationships are about. You haven't said anything about guys who you can talk to and hold a conversation with, guys who are intelligent, or sweet, or anything about personality at all. Your criteria for judging guys might be a bit shallow. If thats the case, find a guy you can talk to and who can make you laugh. Smile at him, get him to ask you out, and go on a few dates.
Note, I said few. Not one or two, go out with him for a few weeks at least and don't do anything other than kiss him. Focus on getting to know each other. Stray away from "guys you think are hot" and stray towards "guys who you are interested in as people"
If you approach it based entirely on "do I get wet thinking about this guy in my pants" you're going to fall flat on your face in dating even if you do eventually find someone to date.
Should I be wrong and you want a better analysis, send me a private question with some more detail.
What kind of guys do you go after? Both looks and personality.
What kind of guys go after you?
Why do you think of people as just friends?
What is your ideal guy?
Give me some clarification and I might be able to help more.
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Omg i am just like you and im in the same situation. I am also 18 and ive never had a committed relationship..im not that experienced either and it bothered me for awhile. But then i realized that I need to move at my pace..i dont need to feel pressured by other people to get a boyfriend just because ive never had one. People wonder about me all the time..im sure they prolly think im a lesbian just because ive never had one but im def not and truth is..im just not ready for that. So maybe we are a little slow w. when it comes to boys..who cares? When youre ready..youre ready and youll feel it. And it also depends on the guy you meet..once you find a guy that you really like and you have chemistry with..itll be different. Youll WANT to kiss him..you wont be afraid instead youll be excited. Give yourself time..you have all your life to worry ab boys..focus on you and your time will come when you least expect it. Hope i helped!
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