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its mixed
I;m a female and 16 years old. I recently met this guy through an instant messenger. Yes i know it seems very dangerous but i can assure you he is who he says he is. I made sure of it. Well i have been talking to him for mayber 5 months now and we have already confessed feelings for each other and he has planned to come see me when i turn eighteen. All is great and dandy but here is the thing...i like him i do i can't deny that but sometimes i just don't feel like this thing could work out. Is it because he is so far away that i feel like that or could it be something else
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I had this happen to me... He promised to come see me... and it took ten years for him to because he waited till I was 19... Yeah, we talked for a LONG LONG time...
I love him to this day, and I really wish things could have worked out, but the distance and everything really messed all that up long before he came to see me. He came to see me because he loves me too, but he agreed that everything was muck.
If you can make it work, then you can, but I think you need to seriously think about the idea that it might not. Long Distance or no, it always hurts when things don't work out. Trust me.
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You know, I had something like this as well. Except I didn't confess any true feelings to him and vice versa. But I knew I had feelings for him and I knew he had them for me as well by the things he said to me.
Obviously things didn't work, and even though I didn't want to believe it, I knew that things weren't going to work.
I think it's just being young. Young people (teens) want to be in love and we all want a boyfriend/girlfriend. Because the truth is, high school is like the ultimate test of handling your surroundings and trying not to cope with peer pressure.
Even though he seems like a great guy (and I'm not saying he's not) things like that really don't work in the long run.
You can find a great guy at school (and even though you may say there's no "good" guys there, there are. Believe me, I said the same thing, but my boyfriend is pretty amazing and I only met him at the end of last year) that you like the same or even more than the one online.
The unfortunate truth: long distance things are REALLY hard to keep going. Many don't last long at all. And I'm not saying this to everyone, I'm just saying in general.
And even if he is the guy he says to be, there's always a risk in meeting someone online in person.
I know you like him a lot, but I truly think this is something you need to let go. And I'm saying this for your safety and so you don't get your heart broken if things don't work out if things continue/if you do meet.
I hope this helped !
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It's because you don't really know him.
You can't really know a person you only speak to online.
You probably disagree with me on that, but think of it this way:
Doctors say that 55% to 70% of 'communication' is read through body language, and 38% to 45% in tone of voice and inflection. That leaves a measly 7% to 10% of communication being the words we choose.
How can we ever really know a person if we only receive 7% to 10% of the messages they are sending!
I’m not saying your feelings for him aren’t real, only that they don’t have the kind of solid foundation that could make you feel confident about them.
It really, really worries me that he is coming to visit you when you turn eighteen. Why not before? Is the age difference so large that it would be illegal? Because that is also a good reason to be feeling uncertain of this situation.
However, perhaps the most important thing here is this: Know thyself. You are 16 years old. A whole hell of a lot is going to change in the next two years for you. When you are eighteen and look back at your sixteen year old self, you will hardly recognize yourself. The idea that a long-term relationship, based only on online communication, and maybe the odd phone-call will last through those two years of major changes in your life, isn’t very realistic. In fact, I wouldn’t even wish it for you and I don’t think you’d wish it for yourself.
What I would wish for you is real experience, with a person who is physically present for you and can give you 100%. That is where the real learning happens, and where the real relationship might happen. You’d be better off dating a few losers over the next few years, and learning to spot them. Then you would be ‘dating’ some guy you’ve never met.
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