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humorist-workshop
My roommate in college, Julie, never ever aknowledges me. I don't know what if she has a problem with me or what. When she comes home she goes straight to another girl to talk about her upcoming trip, her problem, or ask to run an errand with her. Of course, if noone else is around to do with she'll ask me which is almost never since there are 4 of us girls. I want to confront her because it absolutely bothers and annoys the hell out of me. I also feel she does not care too much about me.
(example when one of our roommates when for a check up Julie could not stop talking about how she hopes it goes okay, when it was nothing major it was just a check up on the knee, but when I had 2 appts for something very serious (that could have surgeries) she seemed to have cared less.)
Anyways, what do i do? write a letter? if so, what do i say without sounding like a jerk?!
Thanks
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
First... A few questions. Are you shy? Reserved? Introverted?
Because if you don't acknowledge her, try to converse with her, or extend invitations... She may think that YOU are ignoring her. Try greeting her first and striking up a conversation. If she doesn't respond to your behavior... So what? While friendship is important... There are, simply, some people that you wouldn't want to be friends with.
She may be one of those people. But... Right now, give her the benefit of the doubt. Make an effort to be friendly and give her an opportunity to respond. If she doesn't respond... Yes, if her behavior really upsets you, you could confront her.
Though I think that 'confront' is a strong word. How about: 'talk to?' Tell her that you're worried that she might be ignoring you... Giving specific examples instead of making broad statements. For example: 'When you came home yesterday and said 'hello' to so-and-so and didn't acknowledge my presence, even after I said 'Hi' to you... I felt like you were deliberately ignoring me.' That's specific. Explain how YOU feel... But also acknowledge that her behavior may not be intentional. (Maybe she didn't hear you.) When you speak, assume that she is unaware of her behavior and how her behavior hurts you're feelings. You're not 'confronting' her... You're simply communicating your feelings.
The two of you may have a heart-to-heart and become close friends. Maybe not. If not... Don't sweat it. Like I said before... Maybe she is just One Of Those People. And if she is... There are plenty of other people in the world that would like to be your friend.
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