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heartbreak over and over
i cant seem to stop getting hurt by this boy. we dated for 2 years and i was in love. the first time he broke up with me it hurt so bad. he did it about 3 times and always came back to me. the last time he broke up with me i tried to make it work for a month and then gave up and tried to move on. about 3 months later he started talking to me again. of course throughout the time we didnt talk i still always thought of him and i still had a ton of feelings for him, i just was trying to get over him and it was working. but when we started talking again he had already gone off to college which is only about an hour from where i live. anyways for about 2 weeks we just texted and stuff until he finally asked me to come down. i said i didnt know if it was a good idea and he told me how he still had feelings and that he thinks he might still love me. so that weekend i went down tehre and it was amazing. he was soo nice, it was the good him the him that i missed, the him that loved me. when i got home that night i texted him and he didnt respond. the next day we didnt talk at all. it was strange because before he would text me everyday. so the day after i called him and he didnt sound like he wanted to talk? when we hung up i just started bawling because ive been through his whole i love you i miss you and then i dont like you thing tooooo many times. and i had this horrible feeling that he was going to let me down again even though he had said it wasnt going to be liek that anymore. but the next day he actually ended up texting me. just saying whats up, but i knew he was thinking about me. but i brought up going down there again adn he said "idk" like wtf does he mean idk? just before he was telilng me he still loved me he still misses me and now he doesnt know if he wants me to see him again?! at that moment i knew he was going to try to play those mind games with me again and my heart just cant take anymore from him..... yesterday i got on facebook and his status said he was coming home 2morrow. it just sunk down my stomach. like are you serious? you're coming down and he didnt even say anything to me? especially when i asked about comeing down ther again sometime.. i just cant do it anymore. i have so many feelings for him but i just feel like.... i deserve better?! what do you guys think?! i actually just like 20 minutse ago deleted him from a friend on facebook, and about 5 minutes later he called me. i didnt answer.. i think i need to just let it go?
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Yes hun! Follow that gut instinct! YOU DESERVE BETTER! He is messing with your mind. He is using you for his own personal gain. He is walking all over you! Do not let him do it anymore! You have already taken the right steps in progressing your new outlook on this toxic relationship. You have already started deleting him. Continue this by deleting his phone numbers, pictures, etc. Anything you have of him, get rid of! This will make you feel SOOOO much better! If you are serious about doing this, follow through with it! Don't you want a guy that truly loves and appreciates you?! Of course you do! And how can you find that guy, if you are still connected to this guy! One rule of thumb that you need to follow for you new future relationships to break this cycle of mind games for future bfs is to always ask yourself: "Does he make me smile more than 90% of the time?" This guy has made you cry and feel miserable the majority of your guys relationship! He is not worth your time or energy! You need to put yourself first. Make yourself happy! Consider your true feelings, not just what your heart is telling you. Love can make you VERY blind.
I have been there! Trust me. I was with a guy for 2 and 1/2 years. He was my high school sweetheart. We broke up 3 times during our 2 and 1/2 year relationship. Every time we broke up he would be cheating on me with another girl. I could never prove it though so I continued to take him back and not follow my instinct to leave. This mind-playing relationship continued and I was MISERABLE! It was pretty sad that I could remember more times that I was crying, depressed, and angry than happy with him! That was a clue that I had to leave! Unfortunately that clue-in didn't occur until after I married him! We were married 3 months and during that time I found out that he had cheated on me with over 20 girls throughout our entire relationship, 2 were when we were engaged! Two of the girls he had gotten pregnant! So I got the guts and left! And trust me, I haven't been happier! Sometimes you just need to push yourself to move on and just take that leap of faith. Have faith in yourself that you are doing the right thing! Trust me, it is better to move on and take that risk, than to stay with this guy any longer and be miserable and possibly miss out on meeting the perfect guy! I have to say that love is a crazy cycle of love and hate. Sometimes you will have some bad apples before you fine the perfect one! The only way to find the right guy is to learn from the bad relationships! Best of luck and if you need any more advice just message me!
~Sherah
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I think you should just let him go and move on. You deserve better then that. Just don't even make contact with him and if he starts trying to come around again just tell him to back off and leave you alone. No guy has a right to date a girl for 2 years and then just let her go and show up out of no where like he did. It's good that you started getting over him once before because maybe it will be easier for you to let go this time.
<3 Good Luck
~meli
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I was in almost the exact same position as you. I never actually dated the guy, but came close a few times. He played mind games with me just like that.. "oh i miss you so much, we should get together, blah blah blah..", then a day later, ignore my texts, act standoffish. It went on for almost 4 years, and I got so sick of it. I was in love with him, and I basically let him control my emotions, day after day. I was so hurt and heartbroken. But I finally realized that I deserved better. And so should you.
The best thing you can do is to just cut him out of your life for awhile. Don't talk, don't text, don't instant message.. nothing. He obviously has mixed feelings and doesn't know what he wants. Until he figures that out, there's no reason for you to let him control you like that. After some time, yeah, it's ok to talk to him, but make sure he knows you only want to be friends and nothing more. The second he starts playing games with you again, stop talking to him immediately. You deserve way better, and you'll eventually find a guy who can treat you right. Until then, enjoy being single and live life to the fullest. Don't let anyone bring you down like that anymore.
Now, after going through all that myself, I can proudly say I'm over it, and I've found myself a great guy who treats me right and really loves me. And so will you. :]
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you deserve so much better. i know your feelings are strong, but would you rather find a guy who loves you and will stay in love with you and treat you right? or stay with a guy who plays mind games with you and seems like he only uses you when he's lonley. girl, you can do better. and you will! let go. dont talk to him, text him, nothing. he's not worth it.
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I totally think you deserve so much better then that! Any guy who is a jerk like that to a girl should be ashamed. I think you should try to get over him. Deleting him and not answering the phone was a wise choice for this situation. Remember there are other fish in the sea, just as there are many other guys in the world. Good luck to you. =]
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