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shy and confused
okay i have many many problems, too many to type out on here. but i have two major problems that i need to fix. im sixteen, female by the way.
numero uno: my weight and losing weight the healthy way.
heres the story, i used to be average weight, not skinny, but not "fat". i was fine with myself, and i used to be able to eat anything i wanted. i know that as i got older, my metabolism slowed down yadda yadda, and i gained some weight. im not fat, im just lazy. im normal weight for my height and age, but im not happy with it. im about 5'3 and roughly a little more than 120 pounds.
id like to drop about ten pounds, but i want to eat really healthy and actually work out and get muscle, im not worried so much about the scale as i am about how i look.
im not trying to make myself look better for other people, i want to look better to make myself feel better. (although it would be nice to look better in other people's eyes, but im focused on making myself feel better first)
so does anyone know any good plans to get on, nothing i have to pay for, just healthy foods and things. like things to pack for lunch at school, things to eat for breakfast that help you lose weight. i do not want any diet pills or things like that.
also, does anyone know any good workout moves besides crunches and pushups? that could really help me. i dont really want to buy anything to workout, like weights etc., but i do have an exercise bike to workout on.
okay problem 2:
its about a boy, of course. and also kind of self esteem issues, but its one in the same to me. i kind of like this boy, but i hate the word "like" or "crush", im just interested in him. ive never had a boyfriend, but im kind of over that. ive had little elementary school boyfriends, but none in high school yet(im a junior, so i find that kind of pathetic).
anyways, i started talking to this kid over the summer, but i knew of him last year a little bit, but never really felt like talking. i started talking to him online because one, i thought he was cute, and two, he has great taste in music and i love a guy who loves good music(and as we talked, i realized we have a lottt in common.)im just afraid that im stuck in the friend zone because i havent ever been myself around him yet.
so the problem here is, i get really nervous when i talk to cute guys, when i want to think of them as more than friends. my guy friends, i really dont care how i talk to them. but for some reason i cant be myself around guys i think are cute, i know its a natural teenage thing but i need some ideas of how to get over it. i know the number one reason why i get self consciense around the guys, its because i feel like they wont like me because im a little bit chubbier, but thats not the main main reason.
i just dont get why im so funny around my friends and i cant be myself/funny around him. i didnt really like him when i started talking to him, i just thought he was cute. he has a girlfriend, but i dont really care, i just want to be open around him and be my funny self. any tips?
thanks for reading all of this, and thanks if you actually answered with things that can help me out :)
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alright wellllllll the other post was pretty good and on top of things. but ill just try to add a few things from my own experience.
well with the whole healthy eating thing, all that other person said was good and true. you really shouldnt eat things that are packaged and have additives in them.
ive never really been fat or anything.. but i used to have more fat on my body i guess?, then i started only eating whole/natural foods.
this is my meal plan for the day -
for breakfast i have a strawberry/banana shake with skim/no fat milk. i usually add to it some protein powder, flaxeed, and ice. then along with that i have a scrambled egg, sometimes 2 if im really hungry (: also sometimes i add cheese to it to fill me up more!
for lunch, i have cabbage soup!!=] im not exactly sure how my mom makes it, but if your mom is willing to look up a recipe you really should try it! it doesnt sound good.. but it really is quite tasty! you can add turkey or some kind of meat for protein, and my mom also adds beans for protein. you can also add pretty much any vegetable you want. cabbage burns fat! so its a really good lunch =] cabbage alone is not tasty, but cooked and in the soup its all very good! but for you since you are in school, if your mom can put a portion of the cabbage soup in a container you can bring it to school and if you have a microwave at school just heat it up there!
i usually excersize a couple hours after i have my lunch. so when you get home from school, you should have an apple (it gives you a good energy boost/want to excersize=]) and either do your bike workout, or run. i have these CD's called "TurboJam" its 5 excersize CD's. i know you said you dont want anything you have to buy or whatever, but if your willing to or your mom is willing to get it, use those workout CD's! they really are great=]! but if thats out of the question, deffinately just do your excersize bike, or run on a tredmill, or just go run around your neighborhood or at the park. if you have availabilty to a gym, do some strength training. building muscle is a good fat burner! running is a great fat burner also!
for a snack in between lunch and dinner i usually have an apple or strawberriers or blackberries, a banana whatever fruit i feel like. and some celery and peanut butter. also mixed unsalted nuts are a good snack! i dont like them, but it is a good snack if you like nuts!
then for dinner i always have grilled chicken with brown rice and some cooked brocoli and green beans and cooked carrots. you can add SEA salt to these, but dont over do it!
then if i get hungry before i go to bed i just eat some fruit. or celery and peanut butter again.=]
thats my meal plan everyday, ive really lost fat since ive started it, and i feel so much better and look a lot better! it should help your mood/confidence also. if you want to add any other foods thats fine, just dont overeat or try to cut out a lot of packaged foods!
also about the cabbage soup thing, if you arent able to bring it to school, if thats not available, then maybe try bringing a sandwhich with turkey or chicken (and NOT lunchmeat because its not very healthy. its packaged and has a lot of preservatives and added salt) and maybe cheese, lettuce, tomato, or whatever else you like to put on a sandwhich. make sure you use whole wheat bread =]. also an apple or banana with it would be a good lunch!! BUT you really should try cabbage soup and try to include it sometime in your meal. cabbage burns fat so if you are able to make it, you can just have the soup as a snack some days!!
NoWWWWW with the guy problems! if you THINK you're chubby, and if you THINK the guys not going to be interested in you, that obviously lowers your confidence and kind of changes the way you act around him. because you think when you talk to him "oh im chubby ugh he probably just thinks im a fat blah blah" so its hard to be yourself when you have negative thoughts! think positive. also when you start eating healthier and start eating more whole natural foods, your mood and confidence will increase which will help you feel and look better and have a better attuitude towards yourself, and towards takling to the boy!
when your around your friends, you dont care what they think about you, you dont think about the way you look or act because they are your friends and you are comfortable around them! and thats the way you need to think when your around the guy. because obviously you care what he thinks about you and care how you look around him, so idk, i guess just try letting loose! or try talking to him when your around your friends, because that will make you more comfortable and you can let lose easier with him. and be more yourself if your with him AND your friends!
well hope i helped!
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Ok let me talk about problem 1, since that is something I know a bit about. Problem 2 would be just guesswork on my part :)
Now, first off you have the right idea. That is excellent and a great starting point.
I will outline some basic ideas behind healthy weight loss below. You can incorporate however many you wish/ can, at whatever pace is suitable for you.
1. The diet plan:
- At the very basic level try to eliminate or minimise empty calories and other blatantly unhealthy food such as: anything with sugar added to it, anything with a disproportionate amount of saturated fat (cheap animal products are the culprits here), and processed foods.
- The key is balance. Your body needs all the major macronutrients, at the right times. Carb control is crucial though, since that is often abused. In general (fasted cardios aside- see below), try to eat more of your calories and carbs before periods of activity rather than after.
- There are many several different distributions for eating balanced. You can experiment your way to it, or you can use a formula. A classic one is a 40- 40- 20 split, where 40% of your total calories come from carbs, 40 from protein, and 20 from fats (primarily non saturated). There are 4 calories to each gram of carb and protein, and 9 to 1 gram of fat.
- Base your meals around a lean protein source. Good choices include skinless chicken, turkey, tuna, other kinds of fish, lean beef, egg whites, cottage cheese, soya, skim milk, and so on. Then add a moderate carb source. This could be something like 50grams of rice, 50g of whole wheat pasta, 50 grams of oats, a slice of whole wheat bread, etc. Then for a couple of your daily meals add a small source of good fats from good oils, nuts, oily fish, seeds etc. Pay attention to your omega 3 intake (from oily fish, walnuts, flax, etc), you need this in small amounts daily. On top of this add veggies in generous portions, and fruit in moderation (and not late at night).
- Aim to eat 4- 5 meals a day. It makes it much easier to control what you eat in light of your activities. Every 4 hours or so ask yourself "what am I going to be doing next?"... then eat accordingly. If you take a nap, then 200 grams of cottage cheese and a few walnuts are your best choice. If you are about to play a sport, then rice, chicken and a salad might be the way to go. You get the idea.
- Good breakfast ideas include things like oats in skim milk (oats are really excellent carb sources by the way); scrambled eggs (say 1- 2 whole eggs and 2 egg whites) and some whole wheat bread; low fat yoghurt with oats and so on. On top of this fruit is always a good choice, and you can also supplement with any other kind of lean protein source if you feel you need it.
- Lastly, keep yourself hydrated (dont go overboard just make sure you drink when you are thirsty), limit excessive salt intake, and try to think ahead. Its always much easier to cheat when there is no healthy option readily available... at least it is for me :)
- In regards to how much to eat, well you can use a formula like BMI, but they are not all that accurate. Otherwise just monitor your progress and lower your calories a bit if you are not dropping enough every week.
2. Exercise
- Quintessential here is cardio. Its good to other things, but this is a must. You said you have a bike, thats great! I dont know how fit you are now, but start slowly and work your way up. Your ideal goal should be something like 4- 6 weekly cardios of over 30 minutes each. In bodybuilder circles 45 minute cardios are generally recommended. Other options are things like jogging, certain sports, etc.
- Fasted cardios are also popular. They are done in the morning on an empty stomach. It supposedly targets the fat stores better. Not essential but may be useful.
- Other than that, try to work as many of your muscle groups as possible. Check out this site, it has a lot of exercises (including ones that dont require weights and equipment):
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Just remember to try to balance your training. Dont train stomach and chest without training your back (particularly lower back). Thats common mistake and leads to poor posture and back problems. If you train one side train the other too.
Ok thats more or less it.
Good luck.
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