|
sister siter no one can resist her
so my sister has been having trouble with the family... ALOT. i admit she is a pain in the ass and a demon at times but regardless she's my sister and i really feel that i ought to help her :S....
well she doesn't deny she loves the fam but what worries me is her pessimistic attitude towards them and towards life because of them... she believes everyone is evil and bad and she believes that there is no good at all and she must keep a wall to herself and fend for herself and put a barrier so she doesn't get hurt... my family is so borderline and dysfunctional so i understand why she's feeling the way she does... it's just that i don't want her being this pessimistic and impulsive and defensive about everything... i tried talking but she starts attacking me (and that is really really really hurtful!) or she blocks it out or she just ignores me... me and her have had a troubled past these past years but we're working on getting through it......what are ways which i could help her out and perhaps change her behavior and outlook... and create a sense of respect towards her elders? she seems to think everything is the right and she is equal to everyone or above them....
thanx
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
In a way, this is a problem where you have to actually step into your sister's shoes to better understand what her situation is.
Ask her friends about her behavior towards your parents and ask if there's any reason why she's acting that way.
You can try to look back and see if any past events had triggered on how your sister grew an attitude towards your family..or life, as you mentioned. I'm not entirely too sure if what I'm going to put down is the source of your sister's behavior but...maybe your sister doesn't want to feel controlled~ like she doesn't want to do things that she's been told to do (doing her chores, schoolwork, etc.) and in some cases maybe even when someone is simply giving an advice. Your sister might literally take it as an "order" from someone who just wants to help out which may be the reason that's making her frustrated or impulsive to your family. This could also cause an aura of feeling mightier than others because it could be a belief to her that she understands more about life, thinking that there's no such thing as good or happiness in the world but just filled with cruel hearts, and that could cause her to push away other people because she just wants to think that everyone is "evil."
This may not be anywhere close to your sister's situation but I hope that it could be of some help to you! You know her better than anyone else out there and it's great that you still show your love for her by trying to find ways to help her even if it's tough to search for a way. Be there for her. Maybe give her space to let her be in her thoughts for awhile (maybe she's attacking you when you try to ask her what's wrong because she wants some privacy) and give her just a regular conversation and be gentle to her...because deep inside, it sounds like she's fragile. If you do this, maybe your sister will someday open up to you because she knows that you're there for her and that you're giving her kindness.
I hope I was of some help~ take care! =3
]
The problem is, is that it is very difficult to change somebody's outlook on life, especially if they're that worked up as something as important as life.
Obviously, your sister went through something very big which made her look at life in this way. Now, I don't know if you know what that is, but evidently, it involved something which struck a nerve with her and made her think this way. I can think of a few things, but bare in mind that they're just guesses since I don't know what your family is really like. Could it be something to do with the relationship between the parents and your sister? Did they have some big fight a while back which she could be reeling from? Or could it be the fact that because of the family situation, she believes that cutting herself off and acting the way she is makes her the stronger member of the family? I don't know, you know your sister better than I do.
Let's be even more specific here: when did she start acting like this? No child doesn't act the way that your sister is without a very good reason so there must've been some point in time as to where she began to act the way that she is. Ask her friends at school whether they remember as to when she changed... or if she has changed with them for that matter because then it could just be isolated as a problem with the family and not the world and life in general.
You say that you and her and trying to get through your issues? Then why is she blocking you out or ignoring you when you try and talk to her? I'm not saying that what you're doing is amounting to nothing, but if you were getting somewhere, she'd be at least be listening to you and not continue on fighting with you. Your sister may have got some issues with you which you may not be aware of and if that is the case and she's still holds against you, then you need to figure out what it is and work through that one first otherwise you'll get nowhere with her and you won't be able to sort out the problem which she has. Simple as that.
I'm not trying to be hurtful, far from it. I'm just trying to get you to see as to what could be going through her mind.
Cliff notes version:
1) Find out as to whether she's got any issues with you and see if that is why she blocks out/ignores you and work your way through that.
2) Find out as to when she began to behave the way she is. If you can't, then ask her friends if they know when she began to act like this.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
]
More Questions: |