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betrayed a best friend?
So my best friend hooked up with this guy over half a year ago.. lets call him Sam. They never actually went out and the hookup was a one or two time thing.
And shes had like 2 major boyfriends since then.
So when "Sam" asked me to hang out i wouldn't have thought it would be a big deal. Sam had his cell taken up so he called me from his house phone and told me where to meet him and then he left. As i was walking to go meet him i called my best friend just to check things wouldnt be weird.
She got extremely defensive and it was obvious that she was not okay with me meeting up with him. I told her i wasn't going to hang out with him since she sounded weird about it..
So I was going to meet up with him where he told me to just to tell him we couldn't chill. Mind you, we have a pretty obvious attraction to each other and I had been thinking about him a lot lately.. When i told him we couldn't hang out because of what my best friend and him did, he got kinda upset. I apologized and he reached down and kissed me. I was kinda shocked so it took a few seconds til i stopped it. After a little arguing i told him i had to leave and once i started walking away he ran after me and said he was just going to follow me home then even though my mom was home and i'd get in major trouble...
So i decided if he's gonna be this difficult i'll just stay a hang out a while, but one thing lead to another and we made out and he felt me up a little. But i didn't let it get any farther than that. Actually every time he tried to kiss me or pull me close to him i'd try to push him off but it never really worked. I really wanted to be with him and everything but i actually did try to get him off.
I really don't know what to do.
If i tell my best friend about this she'll totally freak out and we probably won't ever be the same.
And im pretty positive he won't tell anyone so it won't get around.
HELP.
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Sounds like you're treating on water here.
But If you're best friend and Sam weren't a proper "couple" and it was a one-off thing then surely it should be okay.
As long as there were no deep emotions involved and she wasn't besotted by this guy, then it shouldn't be as much of a deal as she's making out.
You're best friend sounds a little jealous, but you shouldn't let her tell you what to do; it's your life so live it the way you want to.
If you're both mutually attracted to each other then that's how it is, we're made to be this way.
It's not like he started hanging out with you whilst seeing her, that would be a million times worse.
He's single. You're single. You're best friend's out the love equation now.
If you really thought he was worth more than your best mate in the long run, then couple up, but be warned your best mate will take a while to accept it... or may not accept it.
Xo
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Hello,
I hate to say this but I completely disagree with Lilimax is saying. If this guy was just a fling? Why should it matter? This girl rule is completely crazy, why should anyone not be "allowed" to date someone because of some made up lame rule. If it was an ex boyfriend that she really cared about then maybe I would consider stepping back but, I don't think it's fair that you should walk away from someone you like even though it was just a fling. I think your friend is being a little unreasonable. If she's had serious other boyfriends why is she still holding on to this guy, principle? Just because it's part of some "girl Code?" True you should try to see your best friends point of view but here's the real question. "Does she care that you aren't happy because you didn't date this guy?" chances are no. I say go for it. Because personally, I think you're correct this girl rule is out of hand and girls shouldn't use the girl code for every guy they've ever looked at.
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As much as you don't see it, you should never do that to a friend, especially a best friend. It doesn't matter how long ago they were together or hooked-up, you just don't do it.
Right now, you need to decide what's more important. Your best friend or this guy. If you think this guy is more important, then you will lose your best friend. If you think your best friend is more important, forget the guy. Sure, he might get mad but he'll eventually get over it and move on.
It sucks to like someone that you can't have, I know. But sometimes you need to be considerate of your friends feelings. Think about it from a different point of view. If she called you and asked you if it was okay for her to meet up with one of your old flings, how would you feel?
Everybody is different. While some may be perfectly fine with you seeing their old boyfriends, others aren't ever okay with it.
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