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humorist-workshop
friend problems- please help!
16/f, please read, I WILL RATE!
I've been in this group of kids (a clique, in other words) for like 2 years now.This senior girl, Leslie, is the leader of the pack. Me and Leslie have been like best friends the past two years. Right when we met we clicked instantly and had so much in common. (Our goofy, carefree attitudes/behavior, and our all-around silliness.) I should make it clear that although she is a year older than me, we have the same experience level on subjects like drugs and sex-- NOTHING! Neither of us have ever even had like a serious boyfriend, and neither of us have ever even gotten close to drugs. We were SO far away from any of this permiscuous behavior. We were just bopping along not caring what anyone thought of us.
Well, around last spring, when some of our friends were getting ready to graduate, she started like not inviting me to things. If it was like a entire group get-together, somehow the info would never get to me and I wouldnt show up. But I am a member of the group- why is this happening (?)- I didnt know. Why was I missing the info that the whole group had gone to the movies, or that the whole group had hung out at whoever's house? I started missing more and more events with this group- It was getting to the point that I was missing concerts, parties, I mean, I was obviously being deliberately kept in the dark. It was obvious that an effort was being made to make sure I didn't get the word that there was a group event. Why would they do this to me? I was a main member of this clique! Im not like one of those "fringe" members that comes somtimes but not others, I had been a regular and great friends with each member of the group. Well, naturally, as I hung out with this group less and less, I had less and less to talk about with them at school, which caused me to miss even more events. We used to be so tight!
Well, I think I know what the problem is- Leslie started being all concerned about her image. She used to be genuinely laid back and cool- now she upholds an image of a cool, laid back drifter. She cares so much about what other people think- a thing that she used to not care about at all! Who she hung out with started becoming important to her. Now I have found out that she went to a hookah bar last weeked with some kids who have now graduated. Now, she is the type that loves to tell everone about how she hangs out with college kids and how shes done hookah. I feel like she dosn't invite me to hang out anymore because I'm too "immature" for her. No, I havn't had sex or done any drugs. But now she thinks she's all that because she hangs out with a little rougher croud once and a while and has done hookah. Hookah is illegal if you're underage but seriously, it dosn't make you a total badass!
The reason I am posting my problem is because the carnival is in town this weeked, its like the biggest event of the year and all the teenagers go to it- but they havn't invited me. Even when the're not planning on doing anything bad- they dont invite me! So my main problem is that I have lost my social life, and my best friend Leslie is too "mature" (she thinks) to hang out with me anymore!
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Groups tend to put alot of pressure on people yet alone peer pressure. The leader of the group always seem to feel powerful, popular, almost god like. "Leslie" was your best friend but like some say friends come and go. You mentioned you have hung out with the group less and less and had less to talk about. Maybe the group felt like you were slowly drifting away from interest? Anyway about Leslie, Sometimes groups can put pressure on people and not just them but their self image like you said. Peer Pressure tends to change people and the way they think sometimes. However, I think it might be time for you to move on and make some new friends. You could also try talking to Leslie and let her know that you still care about her and think of her as a close friend and it really hurts you that you have been outsided lately and see how she responds. However, People shouldn't care what others think. They should just be themselves, I'm not saying this is the case at all but why should someone act and be what they are not? Listen Girl, There are so many folks out there that I'm sure would love to hang out with you and go to movies, partys, and fairs etc. Don't let people bring you don't and make you feel left out. Just be strong. ;)
BahaiMa22
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well maybe she's growing up. like sometimes people chill with people who are their age. and you should at least know the consequences of being in a so called clique. I think you shouldn't really care about them and do your own thing. so what if you're being left out of the group. you don't need friends because you don't know if they gonna backstabb you in the back. do your own thing and don't worry about anyone but yourself. just know that you're know you better than them so don't worry. they're just b****es who hating on you.
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