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humorist-workshop
emotions
how do you like control your emotions, because when i get angry or when i am hurt, i like say things i don't really mean and it hurts the people i love, like my boyfriend, i always hurt him by saying mean things, that i feel at that very moment, but not like always... if you get what i mean. so how do i control it, i just like burst into some hysterical frenzy and he calls me crazy and stuff, i don't know what to do.
16/f
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Emotions are a pain in the ass at times.
I have some of the same tendencies as you, and controlling them requires alot of paying attention.
The biggest problem with a short and sharp temper is that you are often saying things you are going to regret later before you even realize that you're angry.
The trick to controlling this is to pay attention and take conversations slower for a while. Whenever he says something, literally sit there and ask yourself "how do I feel about that"
This is enough of a break in the thought process that you can figure out that you're getting angry if you are. Usually realizing that you need to control yourself is enough to give you the chance to stop the conversation and walk outside or just pause to get yourself under control.
My usual line to my girlfriend is "I'm about to be an asshole, can we please pause this so I can calm down?"
We both like that comment. It lets me take a pause to collect myself, it also gives her a very clear shot into how angry I am and she knows at that point what I'm thinking without having to say it. Lastly, it calms her down a bit, because she knows at that point I'm vunerable. I provide her with an open target where she knows if she says something mean its really going to hurt me, and seeing me do that calms her down because its a sign of trust between us, and she appreciates that I'm not a towering untouchable asshole whom she can't affect.
Talk to your boy. Tell him that you want to try to control it better. Talk about what you'll say in advance. Letting him know and talking to him about it show him you're not just trying, but planning on how you can be better. It also gives him tools to help you with it.
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I have the same problem too! I always take my anger and frusteration out on all the wrong people at all the wrong times. I've learned to stop getting mad so easy, because it doesn't get me anywhere to begin with. I have a jealous streak when it comes to my boyfriend and his friends. Sometimes I feel that he'd rather be with them instead of me, which makes me mad and start going off. He's learned how to deal with me though, which is something no one has ever done before. Now, I just think about the reason I'm about to get mad and decide if it's a good reason or not. Sometimes I let silly things bother me and I'm slowly progressing. My advice is, to think about what is making you mad. Instead of blowing it up into a big deal, decide whether there is a point in getting mad over it or not. Chances are, there really isn't a point. I've learned that the hardway. I've almost lost all of my friends and my boyfriend because of my temper. I'm sure you don't want that. Take deep breaths and listen to music or think about something else to get your mind off of being mad. Trust me, it does help. Clearing your head really does calm you down. It's a slow progress, but once you start handling your anger in different ways instead of blowing up on people, you'll always be that way. I hope all goes well for you doll.
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You could find someone you can talk to eather a parent or a teacher. or yet you can go to a place where people listen and give you postive thoughts. maybe look up google on postive things and go your libaray find books on about teenagers controlling angers and things like that. they all have that. find tips to. sit and writ a journal how you feel and maybe read it to your self and pretend somone else, or talk in to a mirror and pretend your somone else talking to you. and you see how much it hurt or see how you relize you don't like that. try reading a bible reading god words, he there and he know your problem, he help you. just pray and tell people that your sorry and you will be forgiven and remeber forgive your self before you get mad and maybe you feel clamer.
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