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How do I help my pregnant friend tell her boyfriend he gave her chlamydia?
One of my best friends has recently been diagnosed with chlamydia and she is very scared that something will go wrong with her baby because she is 5 months pregnant and has this STD. I know because of the STD she had to see her OB/GYN a lot more frequently. This is her first baby and she's only 16 in 10th grade.
Anyway, she is really afraid to tell her boyfriend that he gave her chlamydia because he promised to her that he was clean and had been tested recently. She lost her virginity to him the night they met, he was openly not a virgin then. Honestly, I'm convinced that the only reason they are really together is because he got her pregnant the first night they met and he feels bad about it because she's scared. I know she's also secretly afraid that when she confronts him about the STD transmission that he is going to leave her and the baby, but she has told me many times that she knows the right thing to do is to tell him.
She's going through a lot. She's still a teenager and is pregnant with her first baby. She's still trying to attend high school so she can graduate next year but also is holding down a part-time job. She lost her virginity only 5 months ago to a guy she met when she was drinking. Before that night, she had been wanting to save her virginity for when she actually got married. I understand that she's in quite a predicament now and is probably feeling very scared. I'm trying to be there for her.
How do I convince my friend to tell her boyfriend now, and how should she go about confronting him that he has given her an STD (chlamydia in particular)? I really think the only reason she hasn't confronted him yet is in fear he will leave. What can I say to encourage and support her in telling him about the STD she contracted from him?
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Well, you know that she definitely needs to tell him right away.
Think about it:
He got it from someone. She (the one he got it from) may have passed it to 3 people, who in turn may have passed it to 9 people, who may have in turn passed it to Lord knows how many people.
So I must stress how VERY important it is that she tell him immediately.
Being a mother, myself, I can tell you that she must see her main priority in her life now is that child. Not him. Not worries over him leaving. Harsh, but true.
I know she doesn't want him to leave, but if he isn't man enough to be COMPLETELY responsible, he isn't man enough to be with her.
If he is willing to walk away from the woman-child carrying his child over an STD he gave her, then he's not worth having in her life. If he is willing to walk away for that reason, he can't be trusted to be a stable part of her life. She NEEDS stability. Her child NEEDS and DESERVES stability.
She can grant stability to her child and herself without his help. She doesn't NEED him.
How can she go about telling him?
Here's an idea.
Have him attend her next OB appointment. I mean, really. These appointments are not only for her well being, but for the well being of HIS CHILD. My husband took part in every aspect of my pregnancies. Why? They are his children.
So. That being said, have the OB discuss the issue with both of them. OB has the proof on paper- the lab sheet is right there in your friend's medical chart.
Tell her to call her OB prior, and notify them that this is the plan. Let OB tell him. Your friend has more than enough on her plate. OB will be more than willing to ease her of that much.
He can either accept it and continue to be a part of her life, or he can walk away. If he opts for the latter, then good riddance, in all honesty. (And I mean that! The guy LIED to her, saying he was tested and clean...)
Either way, he needs to be treated. He needs to know. He has the RIGHT to know.
You are a good friend. She's lucky to have you.
Keep on being there for her. She's going to need you and your support.
ygs-30/f
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The best thing to do in this situation is for your friend to confront her boyfriend. She NEEDS to let him know as soon as possible no matter what the outcome of telling him will be. If he ever cheated on her or planned on cheating on her, think about the other girls out there that are at risk for having sex with him. You need to tell your friend to tell him as soon as possible that she has an STD and he has been the only guy she has been with. More than likely, he will go get tested and treated. If he leaves your friend because of an STD then she deserves a lot better than him anyways. She is pregnant and has more things to worry about than him right now. After the baby is born, it will be a lot easier on her to make the decision of whether she wants him in her life or not. She probably just needs a lot of love and guidance right now. Be there for her as much as possible & show her that you care even if her boyfriend doesn't. Hope all goes well.
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