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bedbuddies?
theres this guy i hung out with alot during the summer. we had ssex a couple times but not every time we hugn out. he told me he like me, but he also liked someone els, and that was at the begininng of the summer. Now he alwasy IM's me, and we talk on the phone and he asks me to hangout without other people. i cant tell if he actually likes me or is just trying to keep me around for sex. I knwo hes a nice guy but its hard to tell sometimes if he only wanst sex.
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My best friend is in your position. what you need to do is talk to him. Express your feelings. If you don't want to be just bed buddies, then you need to tell him that. You said he's a nice guy, so I'm sure he'd understand you wanting to know if this was going anywhere. Communication is important, especially in this type of situation.
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theres really a very simple way to see if a guy is just using you for sex. stop having sex. if he leaves, he was using you. if he stays, its something deeper.
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I can tell you that he probably does like you... Likes you enough to spend time with you. Likes you enough to be 'intimate' with you. But whether or not he likes you enough to be your boyfriend... I don't know.
You have one of two choices... The first, you accept the vague terms of the relationship that you do have and continue. The second, you start to communicate about your feelings.
If you feel that 'friends with benefits' isn't enough for you... You should by all means say so. You can tell him this while being direct and honest without confessing to him that you love him or anything like that. Just tell him that you want a 'real' relationship... And that you need to know whether or not he wants what you want. Because if he doesn't, this arrangement isn't going to work for you. I usually don't support ultimatums... But in this situation I think that would be appropriate. Tell him that the two of you can still be friends... But if he isn't willing to be your boyfriend, you are not going to have sex with him anymore. Period. His answer should be either 'yes' or 'no' and not anything inbetween. So if he tries try find some middle ground, point out what he's doing and refuse to accept that as an answer.
If he states that he isn't ready for a relationship... Or simply can't seem to make up his mind... Take that as your cue to move on. There are plenty of guys out there that do want to be boyfriend... But you'll never be able to find them if you're wasting your time with guys that can't commit.
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