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my ex is suddenly back in my life against my will
i have known this kid for about 2 years and we dated for 8 months. we were really serious. he was the first and only kid i've ever had sex with or done anything sexual with. i was also his first time. i broke up with him because he wanted to be a lot more serious than i did. he would always tell me he wanted to marry me and i wasnt sure about that. he is two years older than me but he dropped out of school a few times so hes stayed back twice. hes coming back to school this year and hes going to be in all or most of my classes. i was the one to break up with him so obviously i feel bad that i broke a really good friend's heart. but my heart was also broken at the end of the relationship. i havent really talked to him since we broke up and our class will only have about 20 kids in it. how am i supposed to deal with seeing this kid, who was my first ever love and first serious heartbreak, daily when i'm not ready to?
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Hey there, I'm guessing you're in the last year of highschool? and so is he?
Anyway, I feel for you girl, it's heart wrenching to have to face your heartbreak everyday at school. You're not ready, and you can't speed up that process because if you do, you'll get fake results, and you think you're over him, but you're not....and perhaps you'll have a nervous breakdown and can't get up again. So give yourself space from him. Ask to change classes if you can...or even change schools? Make sure you get emotional support from whom ever possible, if you are forced to stay in that school.
And if one day you feel ready to talk to him, talk to him one on one where he can't escape. Tell him gently you're truly sorry for what happened, and that you hope to atleast be able to act civil with each other. He may now respond positively, but you can give him a smile across the room, from then on, and offer to help with homework if he needed it. Just make sure your body language is neutral and not hostile.
He may not change himself, or the way he acts, but you have every power to improve yourself, by being emotionally stronger, and mature faster so you can deal with his coming back rationally. All the best, Fruitloop highschooler:)
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the answer to your question is that there is no answer. relationships are painful. you "fall" in love, you "break" a heart, you "lose" a piece of yourself.
You'll never forget your first love, it's common to carry a piece of them in your memory forever. However it does get easier to see them, I know that saying "give it time" isn't exactly what you want to hear but it's the best advice out there. If you two are meant for a round 2,3,4 --- things will unfold that way.
Just try and focus on school and the workload so you don't end up staying behind yourself. And spend alot of time with your friends, try a sport or a club.
Busying yourself doesn't give you any time to sit around and mope about the past. You two dated, you broke up, it's over. Pick up the pieces of your life and carry on. It sounds harsh but it's truly the best thing you can do.
This was just your first love. You'll have so many more to come that eventually he'll just be a blur in the back of your head.
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