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humorist-workshop
guyfriend & friend
i have a friend in another town, and i really cherished her as a friend because she didn't know anyone from my school and i could always say whatever i wanted and not have to worry about her biased opinion.
however, for the last few months, one of my good guyfriends (who used to have a crush on me) got really close with her and would often ask her for advice regarding his situation with me. even after he stopped liking me, he continued talking to her very, very frequently.
i am not jealous that he talks to her so much, but it really bothers me how close they are. my guyfriend often says things like, "oh yeah ______ is doing this" and i'll think, i don't remember her telling me that. why is she not telling ME?!
i have tried talking to my female friend about it, and she admitted that she felt awkward about the whole situation (there was a time period that he got a girlfriend and i stopped talking to him cause i thought he didn't want to be my friend anymore, and even through that, my friend and my guyfriend continued to stay close), but she won't stop being so close.
i hate controlling her friends; that is not my intention. i just wish she wasn't so close with him because it's very awkward for me, especially, since i really cherished her as a friend BECAUSE of the fact that she was not friends with him.
i don't want to be a bitch about it. and how am i supposed to go about solving this situation? it would come off as, "stop talking to him." i know that is, initially, what i want, but i don't want to do that to her because she does like him as a friend.
do you think i should try talking to her again or just try to forget about the whole situation? do you understand my dilemma? any suggestions?
i really really really like both as friends, just. not together. i know that some people might say "well it's better than having them both hate each other!" but i'd actually prefer that.
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HI.
My advice for you at this point is that you should just tell your friend. Just tell her you feel uncomfortable in that situation that she's putting you in and if she's really your friend she'll stop.
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K sry about that what i meant is you should tell them how you feel and if they dont understand you or dont seem to care then move on and dont care about it just get some new friends and ignore them and dont care about them you cant spend the rest of your life wondering why they are ignoring you or what there talking about sry about before i guess if wasnt to clear sry again and good luck :)
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I can actually understand where you're coming from on this. It's why on myspace and facebook and such I mostly only have my online friends added and not friends I know locally or am around all the time (they've tried to add me and such but I have denied all requests). Simply because this way I don't mix my online friends with my friends I have over here. I've a lot of reasons for this but it does just make it a lot easier for me this way and is a lot less hassle.
With your situation it seems there's not really all that much you can do other than just tell your female friend that you'd appreciate her not telling this guy friend anything about you that doesn't concern him (if he is indeed still asking her advice on you). Other than that though given how far their relationship as friends has gone there may not be anything you can do now other than bare it out. The only alternative is to tell her you don't want her talking to him but that may well just make things worse especially if she considers him a friend.
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I know it may suck for you, but you are being very self centered right now. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices for other people. If they are friends, it may be awkward for you, but it's not fair of you to split them up, even though you may want to. Sorry...
Response to your comment:
You are a very self-centered person. I'm giving you advice. I'm not here to tell you what you want to here. Is this what you want:
Well, since your feelings are important and theirs aren't you should tell them they can't be friends.
Is that better? You little bratty princess. I hope they both ditch you and become best friends and leave you all alone.
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