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Being to brothered?
Hi, well this is my first time to ask a question on this site, but id like some advice.
My girlfriend has this chello lesson/play every other day just about and well shes the only girl in her group, the rest are guys... and i wouldn't mind if they just did there lesson and left, but usually after a lesson they will go do something together afterwards
well, I also have never met these other 3 guys so it annoys me really... i don't want to sound like a jerk or anything but its like me hanging out with 3 different girls, and not inviting her.
but then again she has to... so bascially the only thing i can do is attempt to ignore it but its tough. Selfish?
If i talk to her she just gives me , Oh its ok don't worry, i didn't bring it up directly but mentioned as she was talking about something else
17/m/us
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Not selfish or jerky, just a bit insecure.
You don't need to make this a big deal. Expecting her, or even asking her, to not hang out with these three guys, would be wrong. It would be controlling and untrusting. It sounds like you know that.
However, asking her if you can hang out with them once and met the guys, that’s perfectly fair.
Saying "I think you shouldn't hang out with these guys 'cause I wouldn't hang out with three girls" is bullshit, and pointless. If you were in a situation where you say, took a dance class, you would probably have a whole bunch of female friends you hung out with ;) Her class here, has just worked itself out as her knowing a few guys.
However, saying "I really want to meet these guys 'cause they are your friends and it would be nice to know who the hell you are taking about when you mention ‘em." that would be cool. You can let her know that you care and are interested in her friends. You can let her know that although you are a bit insecure about her hanging out with these guys, you are willing to trust her and give them a fair chance too.
You can choose to deal with this like that, and use it as an opportunity to show her how mature you can be, rather then something to fight over.
Have the balls to bring it up directly, and have the sense and trust to realize that if she says its fine, then its fine. If you can’t trust her on that, you shouldn’t be dating her.
Of course, asking her to meet them and to be included every once and in a while, is totally fair.
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Honestly you should be able to trust your girlfriend. It's entirely possible for guys and girls to be just friends. Unless she's given you a reason to think otherwise, let her hang out with these guys without worry.
-LM
[16/f]
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It's completly normal for you to feel weird about this whole situation, so don't think you're sounding like a jerk..or being selfish. Since she only says "don't worry about it", maybe you could ask her if you can meet these other guys somtime. Like you could all just get together & go out. Also..you should bring up the fact that its kind of like you going out with 3 different girls. I'm sure she'll then understand where you're coming from.
Hope this helped.(:
♥Kristen
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