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Both my friend and I....
15/m
I'm about to go into my sophomore year in highschool (in 2 days) and I'm 15 years old. I haven't ever had a girlfriend in my life. People call me pathetic and I get made fun of and taunted because of it. I used to be picked on a lot and such by people. I recently got into Martial Arts classes and I'm joining a JROTC program (an army reserve program) to help out with my leadership abilities some. There's this girl names Rachael who's one of my best friends. She's also in JROTC and is similar to me in almost every way. The reason I haven't been with anyone is because I haven't found anyone willing to hold a relationship nor have I found someone into everything I am....I've never felt this way about anyone, and I think I love her. We've been friends since Freshman year and I really like her....but I don't have any clue as to what to do about it. I'm not shy or anything, but I just don't want my heart broken.
Advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!
Brandon
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Rule 1: Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Rule 2: If you like a girl as more than a friend, having her be just a friend will hurt more than anything.
Ask her out. Flirt a little. The best advice is to do something. And understand that failure, or rejection, is part of dating. Its never fun. NEVER. But it happens. Ive been dating for a little over 10 years now, been in my current relationship for almost 4 of them. It took me a long time, alot of first or second dates that never went anywhere, and alot of rejection. And yet, the girl I have now, worth ever discerning moment.
Ive also heard it said, if you're going out with someone who you don't match with and who isnt right for you, whats going to happen when you come upon someone you ARE compatible with and you aren't single?
That being said, ignore everyone else. Its sad, these days, that people who stand above the rest are insulted and made fun of.
The people who make fun of you are pretending to be adults by having girlfriends and boyfriends. They don't really understand why people date, they are too immature to understand the kind of connection you are already seeking. In terms of maturity you are years ahead of the idiots who are ridiculing you.
And as a result, when you DO find the girl who's up to your standards, you'll be much happier with her (and so will she) than the people around you.
Something you will learn as life goes on. Having standards isnt easy. In anything in life, standards are not easy. But if you stick to them it is always worth it.
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Lots of people get picked on because of things like that. First thing, forget about them. Who cares what people think? Of course I do, we are all human, but we shouldn't care. Honestly when ever I have gotten picked on, I just had to blow it off. When we are older we probably won't see half those people again. This girl you like, thats cute. I think you should talk to her, and maybe flirt a little and see what happens. Don't go too fast. Nobody wants their heart broken. Things happen. I'm just being honest. There can be something that might happen that might break you. You will live through it. But there is a chance for the two of you. You will never know unless you try. You don't want to go forever wondering if you had done that, what would've happened. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you!
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Just tell her i did that with my friend and she understood just start a casual conversation and go deep into it to where you can say how you feel, ask her how she feels about you its good that you got to know her well enough to love her i know hpw you feel i've been with girls but none of them compared to the girl i've been friends with for 2 years and because i knew her so well i started having strong feelings for her it feels good but yea just talk to her and tell her how you feel about her i hope she'll accept that fact that she's pretty much your first and think its cute.
Good luck man hope this helps
-Goode
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Aww I think that is really cute. Okay listen here Brandon, in your life people are going to make funof you, I'm sorry its a fact of life. Now you can choose to to stay alone and ignore the taunting, or you can give Rachel a chance. You seem like a really sweet guy, and kudos to you for not rushing it. I never rushed dating either, and let me tell you, you go a lot further as happiness is concerned then someone who rushes into dating b/c they think there supposed to. NOw I think you should tell Rachel because you may never get the chance again, I mean seriously yeah you can get your heart broken Imnot gonna lie to you, but if you don't tell her you will regret it, maybe not today or tommorrow, but in your life you will, you can get over the rejection, but if you don't tell her, youll always kick yourself. I've screwed up enough stuff b/c I was scared of getting my heart broken, and yeah I have a couple times, but it feels so much better to try then just sit on the sidelines wishing on 11:11 and shooting stars. Sooner or later it comes back. Take a chance you just might be very happy :) I know I am.
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Brandon, my advice to you is to stay out of dating for as long as you can.
I know you said people make fun of you for not, but who gives a darn what they think? I've been through a similar situation as you, except I was picked on because I started liking girls before everyone else, and we could kind of be "boyfriend and girlfriend", or at least as much of that as we could have been in 2nd grade xD.
My point is, no matter what you do in life, it seems that there's always someone or a group of someones that will taunt you and make you feel like you're a horrible person. Though sometimes they may be right, they usually aren't.
Personally, I find it refreshing that you've waited until you found someone actually WORTH dating and someone who could actually have a relationship for a little more than the usual one-month. Bravo to you.
What I'm saying is, I feel like like maybe you've started liking this girl because of what people have put you through. But of course I don't know you and so I can't really say for sure.
If these feelings you have for her have NOTHING to do with the taunting, then I think you should try it out with her.
If these feelings you have for her have even the TINIEST bit to do with the taunting, well then maybe you should hold it off.
I would hope it were the first option. If that is the case, here's how to tell if she may possibly like you:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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--Jack
(16/m)
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Well, you really shouldn't worry about what people think. I was home school until college and so I know what it's like to not have a whole ton of relationships and to see other people having them. You have plenty of time, ignore them. =)
It's great that you seem so sweet and to have such strong feelings for this girl, and I would suggest telling her how you feel, if you've known her a long time and talk a lot. But, be careful... You are young and it's not very common that your going to spend the rest of you life with the first girlfriend you have. I'm not trying sound all "mom-ish" on you I just don't want you to be fooled either. That's what giving advice is about sometimes. =)
Having your heart broken is a part of life though, and you have to understand that. But don't be afraid to live life (not saying that you are I'm just putting this out there)...
Now, I'm not saying it can't happen. There have been people out there that have married and stayed with their high school sweethearts and have married and stayed with the first person they were ever with... It's just not very common.
Talk to her about your feelings and see where things go, enjoy every moment of everything that happens, good and bad. And if things for whatever reason don't work out (even though I hope they do.) Be okay with that and allow yourself to feel whatever your going to feel until you meet someone else just as cool or even better then this girl. =)
Good luck!! And I hope this helped a little. Sorry if it wasn't what you asked. =)
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