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my mom and i are always fighting
my name is Rachel and i am 19 years old and i moved in with my cousin last week becouse iam not getting along with my mom right now and i get a social security check becouse i was in special ed when i was in highschool so my cousin wanted me to help pay the bills so she was going to charge me only $300.00 rent and that's for food and utilities and everything so when i told my mom i needed to get $300.00 out of my check i have to go to my mom to get my money becouse she's my payee over my check i have to have a payee becouse iam not could at managing money and i would blow it on stupid stuff if i didn't have somebody maninging it for me becouse that's part of my disability anyways back to the problem when i asked for my money to pay rent she blew up on me and didn't want to give me the money and i got really upset and i started crying and shaking so my cousin said i could stay there and didn't have to pay rent but then when i told my mom my cousin was going to let me stay at her house without paying rent if i helped out around the house and helped out with her 17 year old autistic son but i feel bad for living in her house with out paying rent to help with the bills becouse i feel like iam usin her and i think my mom only wants to have anything to do with me becouse i have a social security check and she wants my money and it makes me feel really bad what should i do?
Thanks in advance for any advice
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Whoa... your run-on sentences are going sixty-seven miles per hour here! You're spinning my eyeballs!
Okay, when I was 18 I left home because my mother was not relating with me, and I got sick of it. So I understand your situation. Also, I am a guy.
I do not understand how you qualified for a social security cheque and that you have to go through your mother to get your $300, but anyway, that is one fact to consider. I am now wondering why you have to pay $300 rent ?????? <blink> <blink>
Do you have your own room that this payment of $300 is for? Food should not cost over maybe $160 per month, I mean, do you eat out a lot or something? I can easily see how you could spend $45 a day if you eat every meal at McDonalds! That's bad for your health anyway. I often eat lunches at a church and bring home seconds in plastic food containers for my dinner, which I put in the refrigerator and microwave later.
I do not know what your disability is. Maybe it is your inability to manage your life that causes your discord with your mother? You almost say as much.
Hey, your cousin said you did not have to pay rent if you would help with her autistic child, that can be a huge relief on her if you can do a good job of it! I feel that your cousin's generosity in letting you stay at her home is a sufficient criteria for your agreement to keep the house clean and taking care of her son! Smile and be grateful when you offer to wash the dinner dishes! Then try to get SOME amount from your mother to help with expenses!
I do not know your true relationship with your mother, I am only reading what you say here, and there are always two or even three versions to every "story".
I think you and your mother need a break JUST SO you can discuss this with her from your new vantage point by your staying at your cousin's home. You sound like you need to mature a lot, even though I am not blaming you for anything. Your mother may even feel hurt that you left home, but if you keep in civil and polite contact with your mother for sharing viewpoints and feelings, maybe you can work something out for a better relationship.
You are 19 now. You can get a job and try to make your way in the adult world. How is your education? I hope you have at LEAST a high school diploma !!!!!
You are going to have to figure out a NEW adult life style so that you do not burden your cousin and do not alienate or hurt your mother. You have a lot to work on in improving your life! You are going to need to form a new relationship with your mother, you are no longer her little child, you are an adult, but there are many things you can learn from your mother about being an adult.
At the same time, it is time that you learn how to become independent, or you are never going to have a satisfactory relationship with anybody, let alone with yourself.
Just take it easy, think things through, and try to find a new way of life that can improve your existing relationships. I do not know what else to say!
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Explain to your mom that you are never going to be able to grow up if she doesn't give you the opportunity. You are taking the initiative to move out of her house and to pay rent to live in another and she should abide by that. Is your dad still around? If not, maybe your cousin can help you to find someone who you can talk to about the arrangements. If nothing else, drive or get a ride to your highschool (if you've graduated, go to the one you graduated from). 9 out of 10 times a counselor there is willing to talk to you. This way, she can direct you to the right person. Bottom line is that if you can't trust your mom with your social security check, then you need to work out a way to get someone else legally in charge of it. Inspite of your disabilities, you still have rights, and you make a good case. I wish you the best of luck and let me know how things go.
<3 Leslie
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