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Gay ex-boyfriend
I recently found out that my ex-boyfriend is gay. I'm not saying this is a bad thing at all. I could care less what sexual preference people have. I have three lesbian friends and it doesn't bother me. It's just that when I met my ex, he wasn't gay. When I met my lesbian friends, they'd already come out and everything. It's just such a shock to me. It just feels weird. He only just realized that he was gay a few months ago, and he came out last week. (We broke up in March, and he realized this apparently in the beginning of May.)
I'm not prejudiced at all against gay people, it's just a weird feeling that someone I was dating turned out to be gay. There's nothing wrong with that as a person, just the idea is sort of uncomfortable you know?
Him and I are still friends and everything...it wasn't a messy break-up. I don't have a problem being around him even though he's gay, in fact it makes things a little easier. Just the idea is hard to get used to.
-15/f
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It dosen't sound like you're uncomfortable with the fact that he's gay really, more that it's a really big change that you probably didn't expect at all. That, or maybe that someone who was with you isn't really interested in girls anymore? (Though I'm sure you're rational enough to know that's nothing you caused.)
First though, you're sure there were no lingering feelings or anything? That that'd be maybe why you're a little uncomfortable? It's just a possibility. That or maybe thinking that the relationship could start up again? If so, realize 'coming out' isn't always a permenant thing. (Sorry, it must have seemed random of that's not the case and you don't have feelings for him).
Over time, you'll end up getting used to everything. It'll take time, that's for sure, but it'll probably be pretty similar to your lesbian friends. You could even become closer because of this. I mean, things could get kind of difficult for him, with bullies and things. Now's the time when his real friends are going to show themselves, and he'll be able to see that you're really there for him.
Going through that, you'll realize how much you care about him, and really begin to accept everything and get used to it. Helping him and talking to him more about everything will help you adjust to everything.
XOXO
KAT.
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so... if you dont have a problem wiht him, what's your question?
i answered to make a point. if you need advice, ask a question. dont think that people will automatically understand what you're saying.
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It will definitely take time to get used to, but since you two are still pretty good friends and it wasn't a nasty break up [good for you xD], it will probably be even more easy to get used to it.
If you hang out with him a lot, it will also take less time.
And since he came out to you, well then he obviously feels comfortable around you and that should also make it easier to get used to it.
Basically what I'm saying is it will take time, but it will happen if you're patient =].
--Jack
(16/m)
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That's definitely a difficult thing to get used to. After all, he seemed to be romantically interested in you, and then after you broke up you found out he wasn't interested in the opposite sex at all. It sounds like the two of you still have a pretty good relationship, since he did tell you he's gay. All you can really do is continue to be his friend. Luckily the hurdle of accepting homosexually isn't there -- since you do have friends who are homosexual. Could you imagine it if you were closed minded and didn't accept anything except heterosexuality? Keep that in mind. Yes it will take some time getting used to, but eventually that time will come.
By the way, I dated a guy for a few months when I was a 7th grader and he came out two years later. He didn't tell me this himself, but I do understand what you must be feeling.
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