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friends with benefits.
i'm sixteen years old, and i've known this guy since i was 14 years old. i seems like ever since the first day i layed eyes on him i liked him. in the beginging we talked a lot and we liked eachother. after a while his feelings stopped towrds me, but i still liked him, after about a year i got a girlfriend and they were togther for a little more then a year. but me and him became bestfriends, but secretly i still had strong feelings for him, later he cheated on his gf with me, and a little later they broke up. after they broke up we became A LOT closer and i lost my virginity to him. i talked to him about it and he said that we are just best friends and that's all we'll ever be, but he still wants to do things? what should i do? i feel like i want to stop talking to him, but he means to much to me, we are bestfriends.
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It may seem like you guys are really close, and you really need him becaues you're best friends, but friends with benefits is such a tough situation, and almost never works out. There's so much better for you out there, and it sounds a little harsh, but this probably wouldn't end very well.
It kind of sounds like you know he's using you in a way. I mean, it's great and all that he has a physical attraction to you, but sometimes with guys like this, that's all it'll ever be. It's going to hurt like hell once he ends up getting a new girlfriend or something.
There's no saying you can't be best friends, or even something more over time. But if he knows he can get what he wants physically from you NOW, he knows he won't need to go any further in your relationship. If you still want to be friends, REAL friends, let him know that you'd like to stop the physical stuff. Let him know it's bothering you, and not only will this make him see what he's doing is wrong, but also that that's not what your relationship should be based on. If he decides to stop talking, that's on him and he's probably losing a great girl. If he's smart at all, however he'll accept that you want to stop all of that, and continue to be your friend.
Being 'best friends' should never require you having to give anything up. If you don't mind this, and know your feelings won't to much further, go for it, but for your own well being I'd say to go with my advice and be strong! You know what's best for you, and you deserve a lot more than what you're getting.
XOXO
KAT.
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Friends with benefits can be tricky. This type of "arrangement" only works when both parties are interested in nothing more than a physical connection. Unfortunately, this is not the case for you. You are emotionally involved with this boy as well and are clearly wanting a real relationship with him.
I think you need to ask yourself a few important questions: Why would you settle for a "just sex" relationship that will never fulfill you or make you happy? Why are you only "best friend" material to this boy who has no problem getting physical with you? And lastly: How will a real relationship with a loving, attentive and faithful boy ever happen for you if you are wrapped up in a boy who is truly unavailable to you?
I hope that this has provided you some food for thought and that you are able to find the strength to do whatever you decide is best for you.
Kind wishes,
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