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what is wrong with me?
I am 26 years old and just recently started dating a guy about a month ago. We are having major major problems in the bedroom! He is always starting it off by kissing me all over fingering me and licking me, and then when i touch him he is soft.I am used to guy getting hard right away when we kiss passionately or he touches me. This one is a real challenge to get hard. I give him head and he is still soft. It gets pretty discouraging for me, I dont know what to do. I asked him if he has a problem, cause after all he is 36 so it might be getting to be an issue, He said no he has never had the problem before. I asked if he was attracted to me and he said YES. So where is the problem? am i the one doing this all wrong? Please help me. THere is a total blockage in the bedroom and this shouldnt be happening at all.
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If he is a steady drinker that would be a good starting place. If I drink more than two beers it is over for me. It does sound like he may have a problem. He could be nervous but not all the time. And if he is having problems, just the fact that you know will make him withdraw even more. The last thing you need to do is complain about a problem he has no control over. Helping him through this will show him you are on his side. That will relax him and who knows? And as a foot note, sex should not be a good measure for a relationship. Remember that you both come from different backgrounds and he may be having culture shock to the max!!!!! I knew this guy who's wife only had sex on Saturday. If something got in the way and he missed it, that was it until next Saturday. I wonder how he would react if he hooked up with another woman who wanted sex 3 times a day. Think he would live? Anyway, I was having sex 4 times a week and I always wondered how difficult that would be. Well 25 years later my wife is having some female issues and guess what. Once a week is a bonus. The thing is I need to understand what my wife is going through and go through it with her. I complained for about two years until she finally told me what was going on. Now I feel bad about what I complained about. A great relationship is worth what you put into it. Take any bonus you can. It's worth it in the long run!
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It sounds like he has a problem there. Your not doing anything wrong hun so don't worry. This happens all the time to men. Its called erectile dysfunction. He should probably see a doctor about this and he can get some pills for it so then maybe you would be satisfide with the results. It happens all the time and its not your fault.
Hope I helped!
Your truely
-Samantha
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Stop and actually listen to him: He's nervous.
Telling him you're unsatisfied or comparing him to previous lovers is only going to cause more of a performance anxiety.
It also sounds like you want to go straight for the nookie. Relax! Enjoy the foreplay!
Try this:
Fantasies are often a great way of unlocking things in the bedroom. Explore his, talk about yours. Or if you both can't come up with anything, introduce some...toys. Your local adult shop should have all sorts of fun goodies to try out on each other. You could also try novelty shops. They usually have fun things for sale too.
cheers,
stargirl
PS: There's more to life than just handjobs and bjs. =P Explore his passions. Maybe he has a hidden kink you don't know about. Plus a month is a short amount of time for someone to get over being nervous. Add onto that the comments about previous lovers and being unsatisfied, his nervousness might be even longer.
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