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I may have really screwed this up big time
I probably wouldn't even ask this, but I told my best guy friend what I did, and he told me that what I did was very wrong to the point that even a Satanist would have problems condoning all of my actions.
It really has messed w/ my head since he said that, so I wanted your opinion on if you think I did the right things or not in this instance.
I was in college this past semester, and had 19 hours worth of classes. I also was working two jobs, one of them on campus for the housing dept., one off campus. I had been engaged to this guy I'd been w/ for 5 years from back home, but it was long distance by then because he didn't go to college. I had gotten pretty bored w/ him, and I had found a friend w/ benefits on the side, and the more that went on, the more I felt like I need to break off the engagement, so I did that over Christmas break.
Well, about 3 weeks before the semester ended, my ex fiance showed up and surprised me at my apt. He had a gun, but he didn't threaten me w/ it. He said that unless I got on his Harley w/ him and ran away, he was going to kill his self right then and there. I did call my little sister and I told her that I was running away w/ my ex-fiance, and she was the only person I would call while I was gone. I told her to tell our parents for me, so they'd know I was ok, but not to tell anybody else. So then I left w/ him, and we headed out west. The plan was that we were going to Vegas to get married. We were on the road for like 4 weeks, and the longer I was w/ him, the more I remembered why I had broken up w/ him to begin w/. We were somewhere in west Texas, I forget the name of the place, and he had gotten really drunk at our motel room and passed out. I looked in his pants pocket and got his wallet, and I slipped out the door. I used what cash he had to buy a bus ticket to Dallas, because he didn't have enough cash on him to buy a bus ticket for anywhere closer to home. On the way to Dallas, I ripped up or cut up everything from his wallet because I was bored, plus I didn't want someone to do identity theft on him, ya know? So when I got to Dallas, I found this strip club and asked if I could dance there for one shift to make money for bus fare, and the manager was nice enough to let me. (I had worked in strip clubs where I go to college at before.) So, I was able to use that money to finally make it back home. When I made it back home, I found out that I had fired from both of my jobs when they didn't hear from me, and also that I was on academic suspension because they had given me F's in all of my classes when I didn't show up for finals. Also, when I didn't show up to move out of my dorm room, they cleaned my room out, so I lost everything in there. In short, I lost my whole life on that trip. But still, in my mind, I did the right thing b/c he would've killed his self otherwise if I hadn't have left with him. I can rebuild what I've lost, and I've already found one new job.
The thing that my best guy friend has the biggest problem w/ was that he said if I was going to steal my ex's wallet, then I should have also stolen his gun and thrown it away or pawned it so that he couldn't use it to kill his self when he woke up and saw that I was gone. I really didn't think about that at the time, and now that it has been pointed out to me, I am a little bit worried about it.
So, did I really handle things as badly as my best guy friend said?
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I think your actions were extremely dangerous and you acted quickly on impulse.. but you are being way to hard on yourself. I mean you did what you thought was right at the time in order to save his life in your eyes. You didn't seem to have bad intentions towards him and it certainly was not a satanist act. As far as he goes.. this guy sounds like a phsycho. Any guy that threatens to take his life to manipulate you into running away with him to get married must have some problems up in his head. HE sounds reckless and you could have gotten hurt if you stayed with him any longer. Try not to dwell on the past and in the future I would stay far far away from this guy.
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Well in my point of view,everyting you did was dangerous,but I understand when its a life or death situation as yours you dont think about your actions and you just do the first thing that pops in to your head.Honestly though your ex fiance got what he wanted.He GOT YOU to think he was going to kill himself that way you would leave with him..but sweety what about yourself?Imagine if you would of stayed with him>he might of killed you...hmmm if he didnt care about his life wat makes you think he would care about the girl that dumped him life.???Anyways back to the point...I dont think he did anything to himself.But if he was that much of a psycho well he probably did if he had the gun...but trust me..dont blame yourself for that.Guys and girls who have suicidal thoughts aren't that good in their heads.
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It seems like you had a hectic time at one point in your life. Im just going to tell you as it is:
You weren't right for having friends with benefits before telling your (at the time) fiance that you two werent going to work out. But I think you already know that. With that, though, I will say that what he did was not ethical, either he wasn't in the right state of mind, or he has some emotional and mental issues that he needs to see a psychologist for. If (on the odd chance) anything like this happens again, you need to tell your sister to call the police, he could have injured you or himself with the gun very easily. Also, suggest that you get "married" in town, just a spur of the moment suggestion, this way you can escape and feel more comfortable with your surroundings. Im glad everything worked out with you being safe, but is he? If he was emotionally unstable with the fact that his fiance broke up with him, he can't be much more at ease finding that his wallet is gone, and he has no way to get home. I still urge you to get help or contact the police, he still has the gun, and youre not sure whether he is alive or not. If he is alive, he needs to be apprehended and helped immediately.
When a situation like that occurs, you barely have enough time to think, let alone decide what you should do. Don't beat yourself up on how you reacted when he showed up in your appartment, you were just trying to save his life, and yours for that matter.
As for loosing your jobs and having your stuff cleared out of your dorm, Im sorry that happened. Perhaps you could explain the situation to them, your bosses included. Then again, you don't seem to be too upset about the loss of your belongings, and it sounds like you have rebalanced your footing and gotten a new job.
My advice to you is to go to church and confess, God forgives everyone of their sins, he will undoubtedly forgive you. After you confess, you will feel refreshed, and you can start a new chapter in your life. You have learned alot from this experience, and will grow from it. Im so sorry for what you have been through, but you have made it this far already, thats great. Confide in your family until your situation clears up, everything will be okay. :-)
Good luck! If you need to talk, please dont hesitate to inbox me!
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No, I don't think you really did anything that bad. You did the best you could. Your best guy friend should be put in the same situation and see how he reacts. There's not much you can do when someone is threatening to kill themself. You never know if they're serious or not. You could've tried to talk him out of it, or tricked him or something, but what if it wouldn't have worked? Everything is back to normal now so you should really tell your best guy friend to get off your case about it. The only problem now is, what are you going to do when your ex-fiance comes back? He can probably get you in trouble for stealing his wallet so you should think about that.
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