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only kindness matters...
I am a very gentle person, but not when I'm with my family...they tend to get the worst of me. Sometimes they'll do things that are obnoxious and rude. I have tried to hold my tongue, but it is so hard. Why am I trying to correct their behavior...How can I stop? I love them too much to keep putting them down!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Why wouldn't you want to kindly and respectfully let the people you love know that you don't particularly like their behavior?
Of course you shouldn't be putting them down. But accepting and loving someone doesn't mean lying to them. Be honest, in a gentle and respectful way, about what you feel is rude.
You might choose to bite your tongue in the heat of the moment so that you don't come off snarky or rude yourself, but if something they do really bothers you, bring it up at a calm time and let them know. You don’t even need to ask them to change if you don’t want too! But do yourself, and them, a favor by letting them know what they do that you perceive as rude.
So make that a new rule for yourself!
When someone does something you think it rude, make a mental note of it, or even write it down! If, later on when you look at the note, it still seems like something you want to talk to them about, then do so.
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my family sees the worst of me, too.
it's funny, because all my friends think i'm a really good guy (for the most part) and think i'm pretty like-able. however, my parents and siblings don't understand how that works, because in their eyes i'm an asshole.
lately i've just made sure to avoid saying mean things to them, particularly my little sister. i just think that i don't have much time left in the house, and i want to make the best of the time i spend with them. if that means that i have to deal with things that i don't really want to deal with, then i just ignore that feeling.
you just need to be able to love them. loving is hard sometimes, but it's always worth it in the end.
-collin
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