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Copy cat love
f/14
i have this huge crush on this guy lets call him adam. i knew that he liked me back cuz one of his friends told me so i told my best friend lets call her mary about it. then a few weeks later i noticed her flirting with adam when i wasnt there i could tell that adam wasnt in to her cuz he was trying to walk away.i asked her if she liked him and she denied it so i let it go then a little while later we had this dance and she couldn't stay away from adam. i asked her again if she like him and she said no again i wanted to make sure that she really didnt like him so i told her that i like this guy named zach and then i saw her flirting with him too then after awhile i noticed that she always happened to be flirting with the guy that i liked at the time or atleast told her that i like them.i think that she is a copy cat and she likes every body i like i dont want her to ruin my relationships in the future by flirting with my boyfriends so what can i do??
i dont want to hurt her feeling either..
thanks,
clueless
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well, I have had the same problem with my best friend :) the solution is really simple; just don't tell her who you like. My friend did this thing where once I told her who I liked, she would say she liked him to and said that neither of us could have him since it wouldn't be fair. nonetheless, she would be dating him in like a week. Annoyed the crap outta me. but eventually, I just called her on it when she did it. Like, she'd be flirting with some guy I liked and i'd be like "dude I liked him first" or something :D eventually she got the message. Goodluck!
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I'm going to tell you a little story:
When I was thirteen, my best friend got her first boyfriend. I personally couldn't understand why on earth she would ever want to date him. But then, once they started going out, I started thinking "You know, he doesn't seem that bad..."
You know why? Because my friend saw something in him, and because she gave him a chance, I started to see what she saw.
It wasn't at all that I was trying to steal or flirt with her boyfriend. It's just that I began to see this guy as dateable now that he actually had someone who liked him (my friend).
So back to the point: I think that maybe your friend sees your crushes as dateable now that somebody likes them. I think that maybe when she hears you talk about how much you like them, something clicks for her and she suddenly knows exactly what you are talking about. Like, "Oh yeah, I do see how nice he is" or "You are so right, he really is funny in a cute way". You've opened her eyes.
With that said though, obviously it's making you uncomfortable. But I don't think she's copying you on purpose. Sometimes it's just hard to control our emotions. Without being mean about it, tell her how you feel. Such as: "Hey Mary, I really really like Adam..and it makes me uncomfortable when you flirt with him all the time. You might not know you're doing it but..." Just be sure to avoid being angry when you're telling her this. You want this to be a mature heart-to-heart. Just remember that you don't have "dibs" on this guy or control over her. All you can do is tell her how you feel. As a friend she should listen to you, but as a person remember she can do what she wants and that it's not your decision unfortunately.
Good luck!
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