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he does this.....do i want that in my life.
ok so i meet this guy at a lock in. and from what i have gotten to know him and what his friends has said about him he is great. he is a good guy, and he wouldnt do anything to hurt me. i been on 3 dates with him so far. and know from waht his friend saids he is going to ask me out. and at first i was soo happy and i was going to say yes.
but today his friend was telling me some stuff that he has done before. like he has done weed once and saids he will never do it again. he did it that once cause he got peer pressure into it. then it worried me that he could get peer pressure into a lot of things then. also that he has a lot of friends that smoke. and i dont really want to be around that. also it is long distance so that is already hard enough. and he has cheated before. and my last bf cheated on me and i dont want to go though that again. but i still like him. i just dont know if i should go out with him.
and so far he has treated me really good, and been so sweet.
idk maybe i am just taking this to seriously and freaking out about it to much.
sincerly,
softballbabe2610
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I think you might be freaking out just a bit. I wouldn't worry too much about the pot issue. He's only tried it once and isn't interested in doing it again, so I don't think you need to worry about him becoming addicted or anything like that. Plus, almost everyone's tried something or other during their lives. Somethings are harmful, or some they regret. But if we judged everyone based on the things they've tried once, we'd never have any friends. And once again, if it's long distance and he does do that with his friends, then you don't have to worry about him doing that around you.
As for the cheating thing, that's the only part I'm kinda iffy about. Did he tell you himself that he cheated? And if so, how did it come up in conversation? There's a saying, "once a cheater; always a cheater", but I don't know how true to hold that. I'd say that you just casually bring up some of your fears in a relationship, or to seem less pushy about being in one, mention how you felt when you were cheated on. That way it won't be a direct attack and he can know how you feel. And hopefully, like the pot, it will just have been a one time thing.
I say you go for it. He's treating you great and you really like each other. I don't think you should let small concerns like that hold you back, at least not for now. Get to know him even more and see how it goes. I hope the best for you =).
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IF it's a long distance relationship, when you guys do get the oppertunity to hang out, it should be just you and him. So don't worry about his friends. Some of my friends smoke and drink, I don't approve of it, but i'm stong enough to say no. It sounds like NOW he is too. When you try something once your more likely not to do it agian because you learned your lesson. I think your being perinoid. I don't mean this meanly but your second guessing something that sounds, well, really great. If you like someone, then you like someone, and he likes you. It sounds like this could really work. If he's been this sweet then he's probally going to continue. Tell him concerns about treating. Tell him about your last boyfriend, BUT DON'T BRING UP THE FACT THAT HE HAS CHEATED TOO. He won't like that. As long as you guys have good communication and are open to talking about things, like cheating it shoudl all be fine. He sounds like a great guy, who is perfect for you. Have fun and be careful
hope i helped!
-E
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it sounds like you have yourself a pretty good boy. so, he tried weed once. who cares? he learned from it, right? you definitely are NOT going to be able to make him avoid smokers. they're everywhere, & that's something that everyone has to deal with. also, i'm assuming you're young. young teens are going to cheat on each other. ya'll are horny. end of story. i'm almost positive there's no getting around it. just have fun & enjoy being a kid. (:
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I would lay down what you're comfortable with to him, and get his side of each of the stories. Sometimes you can't automatically assume these things are true, you know?
If you still feel uncomfortable with his past after talking with him, it's ALRIGHT to not date him. You're only a teenager, and you have your entire life ahead of you to date. Don't try to rush into relationships that usually end anyway.
--Jack
(16/m)
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