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Why is he being like this?
Okay. first off I'll give you the basic details of our relationship.
Levi and I have been together for 2 years.
He's 18 and I'll be 18 in 2 weeks. We've had a bit of a rocky relationship but we love eachother. He's an Aquarius: extremely independent and seems to have no emotions sometimes. I'm a Cancer: extremely caring and loving, but can be needy.
I dropped out of highschool so his Mom doesn't like me. His cousin Blake doesn't like me because it's always a fight between us to get Levi's attention.
Okay. So here's my problem. I've been really down lately. I'm stressed out with my family because it seems like we're always fighting. I'm stressed out because of relationship problems. I just need a hug and Levi's not there for me at all....
A couple of days ago was our 2 year anniversary of the night we met. He was a friend of a friend and they came over to my house and we all went down the road to the cemetery. So for our anniversary I had planned that we go to the cemetery. We haven't been there since that night and I thought it would be special. So that night he didn't have a ride down here. He told me it didn't mean that much to him to ask his Dad to drive him all the way to my house after his Dad got off work.
We didn't hang out that night. But later, his cousin Blake showed up at his house and asked him to go with him to a party and Levi said no because it was our anniversary [Levi wouldn't have seen anything wrong with it but he knew I would be upset if he didn't at least talk to me on the phone that night] So Blake and Levi got into a fight about it. Levi blames me.
The next day I asked Levi if we could spend tonight [the 4th of July] together. We would go up to my secret place [it's really high] and watch the fireworks that are downtown. He told me that he and Blake were going to go out of town Thursday and would be back Sunday. They were going to a lake. So thursday night Levi was online and he told me one of the guys there was leaving Friday morning to come back into town. I asked him if he would take that ride back so that he and I could spend the 4th together. He said no. He wanted to spend the weekend there too... Not only did he say this, he freaked out on me. I only wanted to spend the day with him and he says I'm going to ruin his "REAL fun." He's calling me selfish. I don't understand this. He posted this... "apparently I can't spend the 4th of July weekend with my friends without being made to feel like shit as usual for trying to have some REAL fun on my own."
I really don't understand.
I was really sad and depressed for a couple of days before he left and he was never there for me. At least, not when his cousin is around. I mean, about a week ago I called Levi because I was fighting with my Mom and Brother and I needed someone to talk to. He was about to leave with his cousin to go on a walk and get some food. He tells me to suck it up and he'd call me when Blake and him were done hanging out. That night he calls me and immediately starts raising his voice saying that it's always a fight between Blake and I.
I'm like "I didn't start anything with Blake. I'm always very polite to him and he's just rude to me.. it's not my fault." that's the honest-to-god truth.
But Levi's so.. "blood is thicker than water" that he goes to such extremes as to give me all the blame for a fight that his mom or his cousin started and were completely out of line.
He's leaving for college in a couple of months and we're all fighting for his attention. But his family means so much more to him that they're getting a really unfair amount of his attention.
So... I don't really have a direct question... I just want to know... What should I say to him tonight when I talk to him? Or... should I just not talk to him at all?
Sorry it was so long. Thank you so much for your advice.
And if you would, please send your advice to my email? That way I'll get it soon, when I need it.
DivinelyBroken17@aol.com
thank you so much!
~Jessica
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The simple, honest answer is: He's not worth your time. He's not giving you the respect or adequate attention that you need, and he's choosing other people over you WAY too often. I mean "blood is thicker than water" may be true, but it seems as if he's never without his cousin, so I think it's okay to say no to him once and a while and make room for you.
However, it's not easy to just give up on a two year relationship like that, especially if you really do have strong feelings for the person. I think it might be best to just be honest and upfront. Let him know that you feel hurt and that you don't appreciate the way he's treating you. (But make sure when you do this, you choose your wording very carefully -- guys will just attack if they feel like someone's offending their family or friends, even if you're not). If he doesn't respect your feelings after that, or continues to act the way he does, or raises his voice to you again, I think it might be best to ask yourself these questions:
1.) Do you really want to stay in a relationship with someone who's going off to college soon ?
Sure many people have maintained relationships while their partner is away at college, but given the situation you really have to wonder if he'd ever make an effort to talk to you or see you, since he's so ready and willing to give up a chance to see you when you're both home.
2.) Do you want to stay in a relationship with someone if their family dislikes you?
In the end it's up to the person you're with and only that person to decide whether or not you're right for them. Not their family, not their friends. However, both can be very influential. And in this case, even more so. It's nice that he cares about his family to that extent, but when he sides with them and never gives you a chance, do you think he ever will in the future? Do you want to remain with someone who doesn't seem willing to even talk to his family about you and give them reasons to like you?
and lastly,
3.) Do you want to stay in a relationship with someone who acts as if he's "trapped" and "bored" with you?
He was going to have some "REAL" fun? That's a straight up eff-ed up thing to say. Your plans sounded wonderfully romantic, and he had the chance to experience both fun with friends and then make it back in time to spend the night with you, but he gave that up. That was just plain rude. And not considering your anniversary and subsequent anniversary plans important to just merely ask for a ride? Again, rude and eff-ed up. It shows where his priorities are, and that says a lot about him and how he feels about you. It was "nice" that he chose to stay in and talk to you - but to only do it because he didn't want you to be upset, or more likely "he didn't want to hear you complain or fight with you" kinda negates it. And then to actually blame YOU for the fight with his cousin -- how could that have possibly been your fault? Had he actually gone to the cemetary with you (which again, sounded wonderfully romantic, even in a creepy way lol), he wouldn't have even had to face that problem. If anything it's HIS fault.
So in conclusion, it's best to let him know of your feelings. And if he doesn't respond well, it's best to really think if the relationship is worth it after all. I apologize for this insanely long response, but I hope it helped. And I hope for the best for you <3.
<b>EDIT:</B>
I just read your edit with his response, and I have only one thing to say: DUMP HIM.
He's trying to paint himself as the nice guy and you the liar, but he's being completely cruel and an asshole while doing so. He's basically saying that he sees you too much and is sick of it, how is that nice in any respect? And since he directly quoted me and called us all jackasses, I can easily say: HE'S AN ASSHOLE.
And after all that he wants to stay in the relationship? Fuck that, I say go out while you still have your pride and find someone who will actually enjoy spending time with you.
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-EDIT-
I've randomly decided to go through all my answers and re-found yours, also read the edit.
This little boy, is immature beyond belief.
How long ago was this question?
According to my original answer I was about to turn fourteen. I'm fifteen now so about a year+
Anyway. I honestly hoped you dumbed his ass. If he has the nerve to swear at a woman like that, he has no manners and no respect at all.
Message me the details of what happened if its okay with you. I'd love to hear how things turned out
-END EDIT-
I would sent this to your email but I don't feel comfy doing that
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I'm 13 gonna be 14 in a month
Even I'M smart enough to realize
This CHILD isnt ready for any REAL relationships.
He's ignorant and HE'S selfish.
You need and shoulder to cry on and hes out partying it up with friends.
Some boyfriend.
I'm not you. but IF I were you, I would send him to the curb
I'd break up with him
If he can't be there to support you and comfort you and make you feel loved when you need it NOW..he's NEVER gonna be there
I feel for you and my heart goes out to you
Hope I could help in anyway
KlutzyKim
13/F
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This is actually quite simple so I'm not going to get deep on you here. This BOY is not ready for the relationship you want. Give him about seven years and he may still not be ready. Save the anguish and get out of his way of having fun, say good bye nicely.
Be well precious one.
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