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I have become romantically involved with my best friend.
I met her (I will call her Xy) via an old girlfriend, they were best friends and very close. After my ex and I broke up, I maintained a relationship with my friend Xy and we became very close over the past 8 years. I trusted her with everything and she with me. About 3 years back, something happened between her and I, and we were intimate. Even though she no longer spoke with my ex, she still felt a sort of loyalty to her and asked to leave things were they were. We moved on, she eventually got married and we still maintained our friendship. Her marriage did not last, and we some how ended up together again, and things are wonderful in every way. That was until my ex came back from Europe heartbroken and crying and began to call Xy again. Xy decided that she again could not be with me and felt a loyalty to her friend, and asked to stop and return to just being friends between her and I. I was hurt, not just romantically speaking, but as a friend. I feel she chose her loyalty to be with my ex, her old friend who has been MIA for the past 3 years, and pushed me to the side. I walked away from her for good and decided that everything between her and I is over. Am I wrong to be hurt? I really do love her, but I think I was the only one in the relationship and that I may have been just a stepping stone for her to move forward with certain things she was dealing with.
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She is just not that into you.
You are right to feel hurt. Getting dumped always hurts, but don't kid yourself. She wouldn't have chosen an MIA friend over someone she really wanted to be with. She didn't really want to be with you.
It's been 3 years since you first fell into bed with another. She has had 3 years to choose you. You've stuck around and made yourself available. You've been honest about what you feel and want. She doesn't want or feel the same.
I would bet good money that the friend excuse is simply a convenient one. Especially since she invoked it even when her friend was silent on another continent.
So go ahead and be hurt, but more importantly, move on. If you can't move on AND be friends with her, stop being her friend. Find someone who cares for you as much as you care for them.
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Hey there!
The fact that there's even a possibility that she may have been using you for anything at all, is a red flag. Imagine how things would have been if you two had gotten together, and she used you to accomplish things that made herself happy, but never you.
You are not wrong for being hurt, especially when it comes to a broken heart that's been through 8 years of confusion.
Honestly, any girl that makes you feel inferior, or like your just some kind of option-- is not good enough. Never settle for that. I hope you find what it is you're looking for.
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