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afraid about a guys reaction
I'm 16/f. I don't know how I'm going to tell a guy, who I might possibly want relationship with, about my sexual history. I've had sex with three guys, I feel terrible about it and one of the guys wasn't even planned (I was almost passed out drunk when it happened, if I was sober it never would have happened) The first guy is the only justifyed one because I went out with him for a year, and we did it on your 6 months. The second guy was to get over the first guy (he ended up being abusive and I needed to feel loved by someone) I was 15 when all of that happened and I haven't had sex since. But I don't know how a guy will react to hearing that I've already slept with 3 guys and I'm only 16. I regret it every day and it makes me feel guilty thinking about it. I've taken a vow to not have sex until I'm with a guy I truly love (and sure about his intentions) for at least 6 months. I'm afraid guys will be disgusted by it or think I'm a slut if I tell them about the three guys and not want to go out with me, but the other 2 guys were truly mistakes. Do I tell tell a guy everything or not tell him about all of them & is there any chance the guy won't care? :/
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I hope this makes yu feel better. I lost my virginity at 13, I'm now 15 an only had sex wit two guys (I'm currently with the second for two years) I told him about my first, an it was a breeze to him. He had sex wit 3 girls before me, I was his 4th and he's only now 17. Most guys now days, have been around the block. Most aren't virgins and haven't been one for awhile. So if I were you I would tell him about it and just explain to him that two were a big mistake. If he loves you, he'll understand.
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i went through something similar. i had sex with one of my boyfriends when i was 14 and i wasn't sure how to tell me recent boyfriend about it. he had never done anything with a girl and i felt like if i told him about my sexual history he would think i was a slut and never want to talk to me again. i knew i had to tell him sooner or later so i told him. and everything turned out just fine. yes he was a little mad and jealous but he said that it was the past and theres nothing really he could do about it.
if he asks don't tell him you've never done anything with a guy besides make out. if your not ready to tell him just say i don't feel comfortable about that topic. maybe another time. you just need to be completely honest with the guy you want to date. if it gets to the point in your relationship where you think he's ready to know and that you can trust him, then sit him down and be open. if he truly cares about you he won't worry so much about your past. all that will matter to him will be that you two are together now in the present.
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If he asks you about your sexual history, then you should tell him. If he doesn't ask you, you aren't obligated to tell him until he does.
Just tell him what you just wrote. Explain that you were in love with the first guy, and you thought you would be together for a very long time. As for the other two, just be honest and tell him they were mistakes that you regret everyday. If he isn't understanding, then he doesn't deserve you anyway.
Just don't lie about it. That will make a bad situation terrible.
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Also, I forgot to tell you this: I have been there and have done this. I was young too! I have 3 teenagers, now. My children look like my sisters and brothers. One is 16, soon to be 17. One is 15, soon to be 16 and one is 13. I was pregnant as a Sr. in highschool. It was so hard for me, but I did it. I changed, and this is why I am the way I am today. I have been there. I am only 34 now, but I changed girl, and so can you!!!!again, I am proud of you! & thanks for your response. It makes me feel really good to know this about you and if there is anything I can help you with, do not hesitate to contact me!
You know what? I am proud of you! Look, everyone makes mistakes, it's about realizing it and changing it.
Would I tell a guy everything? NO,but I would not lie either. Only answered what's asked on this subject. Some people go into relationships running it, I don't think guys run it openly. Be careful in telling a guy this because it could make him think tht he can get the panties too. So, if you wanna share something with him, tell him that you made some mistakes in your life and that you aren't open to discussing it and do discuss your interest,goals, desires, and future with him because that's all that matters not your past.
People are judgemental but who are we to judge anyone. You were younger, you made bad choices in your life and now you are maturer and aware - if he can't accept you for this, if you do decide to tell him, then maybe you should question your desire of having a relationship. Listen to this song by Mary J Blige: Take me as I am - this means accept you for who you are NOW and not who you USED to be! Stop looking at your past, and focus on your future. You are destined to be somone and something great!
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