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how can i tell if i was sexually abused as a child?
im 14 years old, and for some time i thought i might be sexually abused as a child, but i cant remember. i was adopted at 7 an before then i wood visit my biological family, an they wer into things children shouldnt be around. but anyway, recently i found a book on telling if you wer sexually abused as a child, i have more than half the symptoms, and i have these flashbacks of a white man, who had white hair and white facial hair. growing up ive been terrified of santa clause, the dark and open closets at night. i never added it all up til i read that book. i cant remember exactly though, so what should i do? leave it alone or tell someone? but i dont think anyone wold believe me anyway. im really not sure if im ready to face the truth if it happened, and besides if i cant remember, then maybe its my imagination right?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
It's not uncommon for victims of abuse to undergo repression. Repression is a psychological act of rejecting certain memories, experiences or feelings. Basically, it's when you make yourself forget extremely horrific events in your past.
You can take as many little quizzes as you want, but I'm certain that the only way to find out if your thoughts are real is to be examined by a therapist. Asking someone who is not a trained psychologist won't help because they haven't studied psychology.
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Well...Here's my two cents worth. My wife was abused by her father at the age of 1. She was adopted along with her other sister and brother to the same family.
Her sister who is much older remembers the details of the brutal sexual abuse. My wife doesn't recall anything. Her dad is still in jail to this day and will probably die behind bars. Their story made headline news years ago.
Anyway, she doesn't remember anything about it. She knows it happened but she doesn't remember any details. They performed test and determined that she was abused. She doesn't remember any of it.
It's easy to self diagnose when we start reading about symptoms of mental disorders, diseases and so forth.
My wife doesn't let it bother her. You might want to consider professional help if you are finding these "flashbacks" are unmanageable and troublesome. I know you said you are 14 years old so asking your parents to put you into counseling might be a task. You could always tell a teacher or any other authority figure. That may seem embarrassing to you but remember, those folks by law can't tell anyone what you've said to them unless it's about hurting yourself or another. Unless of course it's someone who needs to tell a professional that you need help. Other than that they can't by law talk about what you've said to them. I know, I've been involved in the mental health world for a few years.
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There are a lot of therapists that try to say everyone who has a reaction like yours is repressing hcildhood memories. It's possible you are scared of santa because one scared you when you were a child at a store--that's just as plausible. Thousands of people are scared of open closets at night---I'm a grown woman with children and I still close the closet doors at night when I go to bed and I was not sexually abused.
People who write books like that are usually trying to create popularity for themselves and can take common symptoms of life and change them to fit a particular scenario. They are looking for their 15 minutes of fame and seem to not care for the people they hurt in the process.
Being adopted means your parents probably have an entire history on you from before they adopted you. I would think that if sexual abuse had been a part of it they would have you in therapy. If you really believe you have been abused you need to see a therapist anyway. I would ask my parents if I were you if they have your medical history from prior to your adoption. At your age you have a legal right to your own medical records. You may not have a legal right to your adoption information until you are 18 depending on the state you are in but your medical records are fair game unless sealed by a judge. Talk to your Dr and see what he/she says.
Remember most of those books are written for a purpose and a lot of them are written by quacks. Just because you read it in a book and show the symptoms doesn't mean it's what really happened. For example: I have been nauseaous, had breast pain & swelling, no periods, mood swings and weight gain for more than 3 months--all common symptoms of pregnancy in a normally healthy 33 year old female. I had severe pain that sent me to the hospital recently and the ER Dr said "you're having a miscarriage, we need to do an ultrasound" He didn't ask any other questions and made his diagnosis based on the symptoms and not the facts or my medical history. I had a partial hysterectomy almost 10 years ago and can not get pregnant or have children---I'm starting menopause and had a kidney stone. See why it's best to have ALL the facts before thinking the worst? Hope this helps.
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