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Now that I know what love feels like, how do I get over it?
(Will be long! Sorry!) I dated a girl since 7th grade, married her at the end of high school, had a few kiddos with her, and never loved her. Well of course I loved her but only because I'd never been with anyone else. She was my first everything. Then I met TJ. We became best friends several years ago and for a long time there was no attraction because she and her husband were too serious. But they ran into some issues which plunged she and I into a relationship that both of us had on the back of our minds from the start. We are in love now, and really serious, even though she & her husband are back to normal.
My wife found out I was cheating, but didn't know who with. So TJ's unmarried friend took the heat for her so that her husband wouldn't find out. My wife & I are now divorced. I'm in love with TJ and she and I are still having an affair but eventually she will have to choose.
How do I prepare myself for a break up? I threw away everything for her and I don't regret it, but I love her too much to make her do the same. If she leaves me, how do I cope with that and never burden her? I hate the position we're in.
-NB
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Well.. I am having so many mixed emotions in reading your question. Part of me wants to tell you that you are wrong for messing with a married woman and were wrong for messing around on your wife. Now, what makes you think that she won't cheat on you once you two end up together?
Part of me wants to tell you the hell with it. If she doesn't want her husband, and has plans to divorce him and opts to be with you, then go for it and be happy but please be true and devoted to eachother so that a cycle isn't birthed.
It's kind of hard for me to respect the fact that you were man enough to cheat on your wife, yet not man enough to admit it to her. She found out and then you still lied and played the game of letting her think it was someone it wasn't. You also allowed TJ to help you in making your wife look like a fool - I don't think your relationship with TJ will prosper because of the manner it was handled, but I am not one to judge anyone and I won't do that. This is only my opinion.. and happiness is key
This is one reason I do not believe in male/female friendships, no matter or how innocent they start off, there ends up being some type of attraction.
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Your heart will naturally know how to mend it's self without any preparation of the event. I'm not saying get your hopes up, but don't be in doubt. She may choose you in the end if she's really serious.
But if you're really worried I would suggest meditation and not medication. Medication will only dull you in the long run and change who you are.(So I believe, you don't have to listen) But meditation can calm the mind. But like I said, the heart will mend it's self. Even if it takes a long time. But if you believe you're strong instead of calling yourself weak you'll be able to handle it.
On the bright side if things don't go well with her, you'll always know you didn't regret anything and you had a great past with her. (So I assume by the love you talk about)
Wish you luck :) Take care
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