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I feel bad about myself.
16.f
I'm a big girl. I'm not fat and I'm not chubby. But I'm just big. I'm not structured like those typical bikini babes..who fit into a size negative five through 0 in abercrombie and whose leg is the size of one of my arms. I have a big bone structure. And it makes me feel really really bad. Sometimes I feel okay with myself..sometimes I don't. When you look at me from the back...I look proportional and all. I'm proportionally fine. In fact, I have curves and I'm physically active. I dance, I go to the gym regularly. I eat healthy. But I find myself wanting to be smaller. But I know I'll never be that thin. Or maybe I will...but it's just so hard to believe. Well..most of my friends..or people I know...are really really thin. And it looks so pretty :( It makes me feel bad. The beginning of my teenage life has been ruined with self esteem issues (as I used to be chubby). Standing next to one of those typical teenage Abercrombie girls, I look like twice bigger..I look like an adult. People tell me it looks mature and unique, but I dunno. I'm not taller...just bigger, like I said a million times..(sorry). I also have severe acne issues which appeared just two months ago. They're being treated with Accutane. Yet, I still feel bad that I have to withstand this. I've been told I'm a really good-looking girl. Yet, I lock myself in my room sometimes and cry. Because I want to be thin. And because I want the acne to go away quickly. I feel like while I'm experiencing all this, all my skinny and beautiful and clear-skinned friends are having a blast. Because they're gorgeous. They have boyfriends, the perfect bodies. Skin.
I don't know. What can I do to make myself feel better about my size? :((( This is ruining me.
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we are all our worst cridict. when you look into the miror you see yourself completly different than others do. self esteem is hard to odtain i used to have very bad issues about it. one thing that my help is when you are thinking about somethin negitive say 5 things possitive about yourself. also realizing that your friends have problems with there appearence too. everyone does. and realizing that you are who you are and have amazing friends that who like you just the way you are. you just need to look in the mirir and say "you know what i am pretty" than leave dont let the bad thoughts build up. it might sound gay but it works.
well i hope i helped.
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i'm not sure how much this will help, but hopefully i can give you a little bit of perspective. it truly is a matter of self-esteem, and not actually how you look. being thin does not equal good self esteem. just as an example, my best friend and i are, i guess, what you would call "thin", but we both have self esteem issues. i'm 5'7 and weigh 125, she is 5'9 and weighs less than me. she can physically eat everything under the sun, which she just about does haha, and still can't gain weight, because that is just how she's built, and she HATES it so much and is extremely self-conscious. it's really how you carry yourself. another of my best friends is heavier yet she is gorgeous and almost everyone loves her, because shes a bubbly, out there, love-life kinda person. you just have to remind yourself that everyone has something they HATE about themselves, whether everyone else can see it or not. be happy that you have curves, i know so many girls who would KILL for that, and the fact that you eat healthy, you will seriously have a longer life span than i will, health wise. trust me a size 0 is honestly not that attractive. the guys i have been with have all said they dont want itty bitty girls, they dont want to give hugs and feel strictly bone. and i've heard accutane works wonders. give that some time, and see what happens. i know it's hard though, soo many people are stuck on image, and it makes our society SUCK. you could always play up your image. get a haircut, try some new make up. there's a million ways to make yourself feel better about your looks. just dont dwell on being "thin"; it's seriously not what it's cracked up to be.
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