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Long story but advice appreciated plz...
i have been with my boyfriend for 7 months now... my mom doesnt like him. why? because a couple months ago, he got jelous and i didnt know he'd seen me walking with a FRIEND and he didnt know, my mom caught him outside and while she was talking to both me and him, he walked out. disrespectful yes...but he wants to apologize but she doesnt want ANYTHING to do with him... i love him.. yes... me and him have been through alot of things... and i understand my mom feels disrespected... but i cant keep letting her control me.. i want to learn on my own.. and i want to live a normal free teen life... of course with precautions.. i left him when my mom told me to, but it felt wrong and now im happier than ever but my mom hates me for being with him and INSISTS i should leave him and that she means shit to me since im going out with him. what should i do? ive tried talking to her calmly but she has listening problems she hates to listen...
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I suggest having him write an email or letter to her, explaining that he is incredibly sorry and how he has learned from his mistake and it will never happen again. have him tell her that he treats you with only respect and nothing else and how much you both care fro eachother. Have him be extremely polite whenver she is around, and try to talk to her again. Ask her what she would do if she was in yoour situation. Explain to her that what she saw isn't the real him. Also, explain to her why he did it.
hope i helped>> :)
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since she wont listen to you when you're trying to tell her something important to you, make her listen. No, i dont mean by force. When you talk, she can interrupt.. give her no means to interrupt. You could do this by writing a letter or email to her telling her that what she's doing is wrong. Some good points to make are:
-you want to learn about life your way. Although she may be trying to protect you from it, IT'S LIFE and everyone goes through it.
-you care about him a lot and your relationship a lot and are willing to be adult about this and accept some restrictions (and offer to work together with her to come up with some) on you guy's relationship that is suitable for both you and her.
-tell her that although she may think your boyfriend is rude, he really has a sweet side and you wish she could see that, but shes not letting him show her.
-tell her that you've talked to your boyfriend (and do talk to him) about how things will change if she does let you two be together without any interruptions from her...let him know he needs to respect her as a mother of his girlfriend.
Again, these are just some ideas.
A mother is a mother. No doubt about it. She feels threatened by your boyfriend because of his rudeness towards her and YOUR HER DAUGHTER!! she doesnt want your boyfriend to behave like that! it's ok for your mom not to like him but just make sure it doesnt pry you and your boyfriend together. And make your both your mom and boyfriend are making an effort to make the relationship between them better.
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Reading that you have talked to her calmly, keep trying. State your case about dating him, do agree on things such as if she says "Well that boy's just gonna end you hurting on you." Nod, and just say "he may."
You do need to learn on your own, but your mom just wants to make sure you're alright.
If that dosent work dont bring the boyfriend up. Bring him up when you have to, but continue being friendly to your mother no matter what she says.
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