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Should I be fed up?
I am so, so sick of everything relating to relationships. All that ever happens to me is: I like a guy, he's really cool, and then he gets a girlfriend. That's happened to me MULTIPLE times now. And it's either that, or the guy isn't as great as he seemed to be. It seems like everyone has SOMEBODY who completely amazes them, except for me. I've liked guys before, but none of them have truly amazed me (meaning, I have never been in love).
I'm not incredibly skinny, but I'm not "fat." I'm not drop-dead gorgeous, but I'm not ugly. I'm just your average sixteen year old girl, really, but unlike the stereotype portrays, I care about more than gossip and the way my hair looks.
I apologize for the length of this question, but I just need to know: Is it even worth trying anymore? Because whenever I find a nice guy, he either doesn't like me, has someone, or just wants to do stuff.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Welcome to the dilemma of the intelligent girl.
See, guys when theyre younger want sex. Especially those who havent had very much of it. Whats worse, is because of the culture in america, and whats popular, whats "cool and hip", everyone loves the "hook up".
The thing that everyone doesnt realize about "hooking up" when you're young, is you lose out on those teenaged dating relationships where you spend months having as much sex as possible.
How does this apply to you?
Well, all these guys are looking for what I talked about above. They think thats how relationships are supposed to start. And thats kinda incompatible with someone like you who actually wants more than a physical relationship/one time experience.
It should also be noted, that it doesnt take much to impress the kind of girl who puts out easily in high school. Really, all it takes is enough money for a date or drinks, and the right attitude at the time. Thats why you havent found anyone "amazing". You have higher standards, and most of the guys your age don't feel like bothering because its far easier to find some girl who is utterly without standards and go for her.
The good news is, things get better as you get older. It becomes easier (especially in college) to meet guys who themselves have high standards, because they meet high standards.
In the mean time, consider this. Relationships are NOT about being amazed by the other person. Relationships are about finding someone who has passions for the same things you do, who you like spending time with. And finding someone who's flaws you can put up with and who can put up with yours. So just go spend some time with some people. Theres nothing wrong with going out on dates if you can get them.
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I know what you're talkin about; I'm the same way (only with a different set of organs XD). I've liked girls before but never really loved.
What I've decided is that if there is someone for me, we'll just somehow meet. No networking, no 'looking for...' It would just... happen.
...Of course, that's just me. Maybe you're more impatient, and that'd be okay. Takes different strokes, and all that cal. Or maybe I completely missed the point, in which case you could email me at asanoisshweet@gmail.com and explain it to me
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Dearest,
Relationships are something that require time, patience, understanding, and communiation. Read your second sentence of your question. Never did you say, you are getting two timed and dumped for other girls. You said you like a guy, he's cool, and then he gets a girlfriend. Perhaps it's because it's never established that you are in a relationship with the guys you happen to like; therefore it's considered and treated as friendship only.
You can not expect to be amazed or in love at the stage of liking someone. Being in love takes TIME. It doesn't happen over night and why rush?
In my opinion, being in love is highly over-rated. You are 16 years old- date, enjoy things like the prom, life, fun, freedom. I did not have that opportunity at your age because I was pregnant and about to be a mother- all because I thought I was in love, when I was only in lust. Don't rush love because you will fall for some BS and not recognize it until it's too late all b/c you felt like you were in love.
Do you socialize? go to the movies with friends? hang out in spots that your peers normally hang out at? The next time some guy shows interest in you, find out what's up with him. What do you have in common? Are you attracted to him? Is he fun? Does he respect you? if you are comfortable upon meeting and dating first, express your desires to have a relationship (monogamously)- seems like that has to be clarified now, huh? "smile" anyway, once it's agreed and communicated upon, go for it girl! Listen to the new Mary J Blige song called" What Love Is"
by the way, forget about outter looks, it's about inner beauty that shines regardless of size, hair, make-up and being drop dead gorgeous!
Hope this helps.. if I have missed your whole point, I am sorry. email me and let me know! sophia_pettus@yahoo.com
Hope things work out for you girlfriend.
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I think that every teenage girl has had this question at least once in her life. Yes, it is hard. Yes, it does suck. But, yes, it is worth waiting and trying for. There are millions of guys out there that would love to take you out, but there is only one that is meant for you. Your young, and want someone now and i totally get that, but its like the saying "a watched pot never boils" if you keep looking for love, it seems to take much longer. Dont go looking for love, start with looking for like. Your not gonna be able to look a guy and say oh i love him. You have to get to know him first and then one day, it will hit you. This is the one, the one i wanna spend the rest of my life with. You'll find him, I promise. Just give it time. In the end, the waiting will be well worth it, because you will be truely happy.
-jessicamarie.
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