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how do you let go of your love for someone?
Ive been in a realtionship for three years and i cant let go because im so inlove and i dont remember how to let go anymore. I have been so emotionally abused. I have been throguh so much with this guy. Im so hurt by him i cant descibe the pain and he doesint understand me at all. He just wants things his way or no way he cant ever listen to me all he says is that ma words are just excuses and that i make him do mean things to me he says his unfaithfullness is because of me and all the above. I just cant take it anymore im so lost and confused i dont know what to tell him anymore when i try to explain how i feel he just pushes it to the side and cuts me off.. I need help to how i can let go because its so hard ive been through so much with him. When he cheated on me i felt like i was worthless and that i wasint good enough like it just hurt so bad because all i would think about is how he did it with the other girl did they do it the same way we made love it just hurt me so bad he cheated on me multiple times and i stayed with him because i love him and i couldint imagine myself with anyone one els. Also i thought he would apprcitiate me taken him back and understand that he has a good girl and wouldint hurt me like that again. But all he did was blame me for his cheating and didnt appreciate me taking him back. Why didnt he appricate me doing that? Gosh i just need hepl to let go. I need a answer...
thank you for taking time to help me...
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
A cheater is a cheater because they do not love you, or if they do love you and they cheat, it is because they know they can walk all over you and you will not leave. I've had more than my share of boyfriends that have cheated on me. I've also had ones that hit me, made me believe I was worthless, and even forced me do to cocaine. None of them are really any worse than the rest.
It is not your fault that this guy decided to cheat on you. It is not your fault in slightest way. He is an asshole, and that is really all that comes through when you talk about him. That, and how hopeless you feel. He did not appreciate you staying with him because he knows you will and when something is certain it is worthless, to men like this. I have seen more than my fair share of them in my lifetime.
The easiest way to handle this, is to just leave. Pick up your things and just leave when he isn't around. Do not answer his calls, do not leave a note, just leave and never look back. If he does manage to get you on the phone or face to face don't say anything, just leave. He isn't worth the effort of an explanation and it will just make things harder if you try.
Be strong, girl. I know it's hard and that it hurts, I just know that inside you is the will to move on and leave this guy in the dust, though. You're a strong woman. Use it.
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We want to think that life happens the way we see in movies...we'll stick our heart out on the line for that bad boy, and in the end he'll realize how lucky he is to have us. All to often life doesn't work that way. When you took this guy back, he saw you as weak. The only way to start moving on is to start letting go. Tell him goodbye, and don't look back! He'll beg, and try to make you feel guilty, but you can't listen. His strategy for keeping you around is to break you down. Just walk away, and leave it in the past. If you look back, theres a good chance you'll go back, because things always look good in the rearview mirror. It's going to hurt! Letting go is never easy. But if you stick it out, you'll be stronger in the end. Even better, the next time love finds you, you'll know how to give it your all, which is much more than your boyfriend can do.
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I know the place you are at right now and let me tell you, it's a horrible, lonely, confusing place to reside internally. It takes time. It's hard and it's a very slow painful process.
I am not going to say much about him because he isn't worth your time reading or my time typing or thinking about him. My main focus is on you.
You have been hurt mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and sexually too, if you continued having it in attempt of making things better with him (which it doesn't). Read some books specifically dealing with letting go, moving on, self improvement, self motivation and encouragement. Go to poetry reading. Write about the way you feel, in order to get it out and not carry those ill feelings with you for the rest of your life. By doing this, you are healing as you release the hurt. You most likely went through the break-up, make-up cycle for some time now. You also most likely listened to lies denying his affairs or justifications of why he had affairs, there is a book called when your lover is a liar -it doesn't stop. They don't change, so it means that you have to change. His actions were because this is how he is and who he is and you have nothing to do with those actions nor did you cause him to be the jerk that he is, so please do not blame yourself or become involved in a self pity party for someone else's mess ups.
Yes, you are a good girl but let me ask you something, do you know the difference in a good girl and a gullible girl? He already knew you were going to take him back before you did it, so why would someone appreciate something expected and because of his ignorance he feels it was deserved and that he was doing YOU a favor by coming back. Yeah, men like that are ARROGANT and IGNORANT. It's cool not imagine yourself with anyone else but yourself but you are the one who has to make this decision for yourself and your happiness, my dear.
Join groups on line that chat about their feelings, seek counseling so that you don't bring your hurt feelings into the next relationship when you think you are ready to pursue one. Read more. Start a new life doing new things that don't include him - only you, for you. change everything about your life - eating habits, to live longer and healthier. Study something that interest you for knowledge purpose. Try to obtain as much knowledge as you can on situations like this so that you heal, forgive, forget and not carry that spirit with you any longer. I am a praying woman and so I am praying that God releases the hold that this man has over you and that you not fall back into his trap or should I say pit. It's only there to keep you down and hold you back.
I don't know if you have a relationship with God, but if you do, go to him also in prayer. If you don't, I encourage you to get one. I am serious about that. I wouldn't share that if it didn't apply to me from the actual experience.
You are special and one day you are going to be appreciated, loved, respected, cherished and treated as you should be but first you have to love yourself. feel free to email me at any time, I will talk to you, support you, and be there for you. I went through this jacked up situation and I had no one there for me but God, my journals, my poetry and music as well as new found hobbies. These are the names of the actual books I have on this topic- One is called, letting go and letting God, another one is when your lover is a liar, another one is book by Joyce Myers and How to let go, When to let go, Why women love men who don't love them.
Here's a website to check out also
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Good luck and please remember, I am here!!!
sophia_pettus@yahoo.com
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