|
Insecurity Issues....
I can't believe I'm asking this but..
I have extreme insecurity issues about my weight and my breast. I'm about 295 lbs I'm 5'9 and a big boned girl. However when I look myself in the mirror I see saggy breast.. and a big belly.. a saggy butt etc...I'm constantly thinking about "OMG what if I ever meet a nice guy and everything...and he makes fun of me when he see's me naked.." If someone ever did that too me my heart would drop and I would probably cry my eyes out etc.. I dont' know how to get over it. I walk everyday, drink water and eat less etc but I am sooooo worried about getting rejected because of the way I look.. I mean I'm 22 years old and I have a body of a 60 year old.
-BahaiMa22...
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Health?
I am a paid user and was looking through some of your questions and saw this one. I really felt I should remark about it because I'm much like you.
One month ago I weighed myself and I was 266lbs.
I am about 5'11" in height. I'm also 21 years old for the time being (birthday coming up).
When I met my wonderful boyfriend he expressed concern for my health. He is a great man and any man that would ridicule you after getting you naked it sleezy so first of all don't worry about GOOD guys doing that.
Secondly, it's perfectly fine for someone to express concern about your health. It's GOOD for your partner to want you to be healthy. Heavier people simply aren't going to live as long and the offspring they have are more likely to be born with illness or be malnourished. Heavier women have a harder time during pregnancy too because they tend to be so unfit they cannot figure out how to get around with an extra so many pounds of baby in front of them, let alone that "pregnancy diabetes" that they have to worry about.
The body of a 60 year old? Definitely. You get tired getting up off the floor. You can't shop for more than thirty minutes without breaking a sweat. You can't stand still in line for fifteen minutes without your body--legs, knees, ankles, feet, back--screaming at you to sit down. Forget about making it up a flight or two of stairs--you start breathing heavily, sweat dripping from your reddened face, almost collapsing by the time you make it to the second or third flight of stairs.
Anyway, like you I felt insecure about my body. Last month I finally decided that something HAD to be done. First, I had my thyroid checked to make sure everything was alright with it then I took action.
My boyfriend had suggested some months ago that I look into Curves. Last month I joined for $74, first month free, and it will be $34 after that. At first I thought it was pretty expensive, but then my boyfriend explained to me that $34 a month was nothing compared to doctor's bills from obesity months/years later on. He's absolutely right.
I really suggest you look into joining Curves. Sometimes what we do at home simply is not enough exercise for our bodies. Yes, maybe you eat well but eating well is not going to control your weight if you don't burn that stuff off each day.
Curves has been wonderful this past month. Yes, I've had to struggle here and there because I was so unfit but I am so proud of myself for going three times a week (the recommended time). It only takes half an hour each visit--so that's an hour and a half a week for good health! Awesome.
I come home and my boyfriend gives me a hug and tells me how incredibly proud he is of me. Nobody ever supported me actually losing weight and getting fit so it's nice to have some support.
Yes, I break a good sweat after a few of the machines at Curves. No, the machines aren't heard to work at all really. Yes, my face is red and sweaty by the time thirty minutes is up, but it's wonderful and for the rest of the day I'm completely pumped up. Some days I'll wake up and simply not feel like going, but I push myself to go and come back home feeling terrific--I promise this is no lie.
So, back to Curves. You go three time a week, thirty minutes each visit. They have a set of machines that you spend thirty SECONDS on each. It doesn't sound like much but it's awesome. You do each machine as hard/fast as you can for thirty seconds and then you walk on a mat for thirty seconds to keep your heart rate up but let your muscles relax. They have nice, upbeat music and a voice that lets you know when to "Change Stations Now." You also monitor your heart rate every 8 minutes so you know if you need to rest for 10 seconds or not to let your heart rate slow down a little. Here is a link to the Curves website so you can check out each machine:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
They taught me how to work-out too. The trainer went around with me and goes around with me whenever I request. She is like my own personal trainer too--if I request she count my reps then she will. She'll sometimes come and push me a little, "Come on! You can do this! One more, come on...a little faster this time!" They also showed me how to do the stretches at the end so my muscles aren't sore afterward.
I didn't think I could do Curves. I made every excuse there was in my head for months as to why I didn't HAVE to go. I said I didn't want to spend the money, I said I wanted to use the time for something else--in the end, exercise was needed. I was tired all of them time. I hated my body. I feel so much better now that I'm making an effort to change myself for the better.
As a note, I have never been embarrassed going to Curves. I figured at first that if fat, old women (since Curves is marketed toward fat women and also older women) could do Curves then I could do it. Everyone is SO positive there you wouldn't believe it. When the trainer weighed and measured me she said according to their chart I was obese--something I truly hated to hear--but her face didn't change from her smile. When she told me I needed to lose 107lbs I freaked out inside and said:
"Do you think I can really do this? I mean...can this be done really?"
She replied in such a great manner:
"You can SO do this! You can get healthy if you stick with Curves, I promise. This is not impossible."
Nobody has ever said anything about my weight. It's like my weight is non-existent while I'm there--like I'm one of the "normal" people in that building. Everyone talks to me so friendly and doesn't make odd faces or look off while I'm greeting them. Nobody says, "Oh, you only did three reps on that machine...I can do 12 easily," or anything that could be construed as I'm-Better-Than-You. I'm liked, I'm equal, I'm normal.
Also, I did injure my leg one night and I missed a few days of Curves. They called me to see if I was alright, when I would be back, and if there was anything at all they could do to help me. I was so surprised but happy that they remembered that I hadn't been there. I did figure out that I can do the machines with just the upper body if my leg hurt or something--everybody was completely fine with me just working my upper body since my leg was sore.
There are also websites you can join if you start Curves. I go to:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
regularly and read all about others' experiences.
...and here is the link to find the Curves nearest you. You'll have to make an appointment by phone ahead of time so they make sure to devote the trainer specifically to you so you can be taught how to work the machines properly and all:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Lastly, I want to say that I am here for you. If you join Curves I will be your support. We can find a way to chat every so often and share our experiences, weight loss, and rough time with each other. You aren't alone in this. I'm with you.
If you have any questions, PLEASE feel free to ask me. :)
]
I'm not trying to be insulting, but you weigh more than I do and I'm 6'2 and used to be a lineman.
That, to me, sounds like a medical issue. In all seriousness, the human body is not supposed to find equilibrium at a weight that high and try to maintain it.
I would talk to a dietitian and see if they can recommend someone who you can talk to about it. Its entirely possible that there might be a chemical imbalance in your body somewhere that with proper medication could be fixed. Even if they can't find anything, you can learn alot if good information about how to help yourself lose weight along the way if its not that or if they can't fix it.
]
Don't worry about guys. They wouldn't do that and if they did, then they just aren't the right one for you. If you are really intrested in losing weight, then try Curves for Women. Find out if there is one around. I would say just go to a gym, but Curves has a nice friendly invorment. Good Luck!!! =]]]]]]]
]
Honey, first of all you should stop worrying. If you meet a nice guy who loves you enough that you are going to see each other naked..then why would he ever make fun of you for the way you look? And if he does (and I know I say this a million times on my column), then he seriously wouldn't be worth it, now would he?
Try this for confidence (it helps me a lot so it might help you too):
When you look in the mirror, try thinking 3 consecutive positive thoughts about yourself. If you think a single negative thought before you get to 3, you have to start all over again with new thoughts.
Each day you do this, you can bump the number up to 4, then 5, then 6...
Think positively! Everybody's beautiful in their own way. And anybody who makes fun of you for the way you look isn't worth anything. Because remember: Everybody has their flaws too. So if that 'nice guy' mocks you for yours, it's just because he's insecure about his and just isn't worth it. Then, you should tell him about that little exercise I listed above so he can work on his insecurity ;]
Good luck and feel better!
]
More Questions: |