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between two guys.
ok, i'll try to make this short and sweet. i've been with this guy whom i've liked since august for 3 months, officially, but we'd been "talking" since january. he's a great guy and i like him sooo much, starting to love him. not "in love", but you know.
recently, my first love has come back into my life. we were together for a year and a half, and one night he sexually assualted me. i ended things and we had a very painful break up. then we didnt talk for a few months. that one night was the first and only time anything like that happened, otherwise we were inseperable and completely perfect together. i said i would never take him back though, because that hurt me soooo much and really kinda messed me up for awhile. now that he's back in my life and we've been talking, i'm realizing that i never got over him. he was my first love so i guess a part of me always will. but he's not over me either, and holds back saying i love you to me since i'm with my new guy, even though he's almost slipped up a few times, and says he still misses me. i do miss him alot and he wants to come visit me at work one day, which im fine with, for the most part. i just dont want to fall deeper and deeper for him. on the other hand, i dont wanna quit talking to him, because we're finally ok as friends again after having gone through a lot of sh!t.
i DONT want to hurt my current boyfriend at all. i love being with him and i wanted him for so long, i dont want to screw that up, but my ex and i were so much more... compatible? and honestly, i dont think he would do what he did again. i dont even know what im asking. i dont want to mess up my relationship, i guess i just need to be able to get past my feelings for my ex, while still talking to him. i cant just tell myself that i cant be with him in hopes that that will work, because i know i cant be with him, but he still has a part of my heart. help !?
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Honey there so many things I feel but don't know how to express in a way that won't upset you.
He hurt you, and you know that. Did you expect it the first time? Probabaly not. Back then you thought this guy would never hurt you, but he did! So what makes you so sure he wouldn't do it this time?
It one thing to forgive someone, but letting him back in is only an invitation to do it again. I'm saying people can't change, but don't take the chance. it he didn't respect you back then, history says he respect you now.
The only way you'll get over him and what he did to you is to just get him out of your life. Your kidding yourself if you think you can keep talking to him, and kill your feelings for him at the same time.
It seems like your new boyfriend really cares for you, and you for him. The only thing holding it back from becoming more is you. Your refusing to let go of this boy, and i suspect your also refusing to let go of that pain he caused you.
Do yourself a favor and walk away.
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He raped you, say it, say it out loud. He took something from you and you can never get it back. He stole something that you are suppose to give freely to the man you love. He took your first time from you, he did not convince you to give it to him. You loved him, those feelings will never go away, but he reveled a part of himself to you that night, something inexcusable. He takes, he's a taker, you give in to him, you reinforce your victim status and his behavior and he will continue to take what he wants.
Never excuse, never settle, never compromise, look for the guy that is perfect for you, not oh well, he fits most of my criteria. I doubt you have found him yet, for if you can even consider him over your current guy, he is probably not your man either.
Stop being needy, stop being hard up, your perfect man is out there and while you waste your time with these guys, you may be missing meeting him.
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you shouldnt mess up your relationship now for someone who sexualy assaulted you.
do you even know what your saying?
who cares how nice he was or how "in love yall were!"
he assaulted you!
i wouldnt talk to him anymore.
and if you do...your pretty stupid!
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