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Cole.
So. A kid I talk to in school Cole- who isn't even considered friend was beat up Wensday after Baseball practice for wearinf eyeliner... That I put on him, and that I convinced him to wear. I try to apoligise because I can't help but feel slightly [[fully]] responcible. He's basicly taking it as a man, and saying it's no big deal but in Homeroom4 he showed me was Garret [[kid who is an ASSHOLE and did this] and he bruised him... Thats horrible I wanna like cry. I huged him and was like Im sorryyy and he was like its not your fault. And kinda played it off as a joke even though Garrett could get in so much trouble because it is a HATE CRIME! because he has it in his mind that Cole is gay- even tho I practicly begged him to put make-up on him.
Well. Ergh. Now everyones like Oh Katie you only care because you want Cole in the pants, and you only like him and thats why you care.." thats not it at all! I think he's extremely hot.. but he calls me fat pretty much everyday so I obviously don't. Everyone is saying that I like him... and I dont but now He's acting diffrent around me. and my friend Becky says he practicly measures his steps around you.. which I dont want he's like friend and now Idk but Im tired of it. I know people who are gay, and it hits close to home... and yeh it madders that it was Cole- but it hurts expecially because my cousin in a Lesbian and I have no problem sleeping in the same bed with her [[even though wre cousins yehh just making a point]]. I wanna kill garret because now its like all my fault Cole is hurt, and now he can't even be around me because he thinks I like him. Which you try explaing Naawwwt I dont and he wont listen...
And now Im doubting myself. Like what if i do like him.. and I just have such low self esteem that I say I dont. so.. hmm Problems MUCH. You can basicly figure out the problems just by reading this. Like how do I convince COLE and everyone I dont like him! So I see his boxers everyday [[dont ask]] and have fun with him. He's so layed back.. and just I donno he only calls me fat around certain people which I understand because I say I dont like him more strict to a lot certain people. I can relate. and how do I get like vengance on Garrett even though Cole doesnt want it. This hits so close to me that i wanna go to school with a rainbow on it and rep. gay pride even though Im not gay.. [[not saying gay people dont rockk lol because some of the best times was with my cousins and I donno should I explain to Cole why I care so much? or see where this takes me]]
Umm any help is needed badly because I feel like punching people out because there ruining the vbarely friendship I have with Cole.
Please and Thank you.
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alright, well i personally think it's good that you don't like cole if he callls you fat. dont EVER think thats okay even if it's around certain people, it's not because it just shows that he acts different around you and then tries to look cool in front of others by ditching you. don't eVER think thats okay. its not. talk to cole and tell him that you don't like him, and the only reason you care so much is because you think it's your fault and your cousin a lesbian. if you just talk to him it will be fine and it will be all over, so people won't think you like him anymore. tell on garrett. he's a huge asshole from what i can see. ask the office or whatever teacher you tell not to mention your name, or write an anonymous note and put it in the office. taht always works.
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Wow. This was really hard to read, and even harder to understand.
So basically you're saying that you don't like Cole, you want everyone to know that, but then you're doubting it yourself.
Right.
Basically, get Cole on his own, tell him you don't have feelings for him. You love him as a close friend and you feel like shit because it was mostly your fault that he got beaten up.
At this time when everyone thinks you like him, don't be so close with him, I know he just got beaten up, and you feel shitty about it, but if you go around hugging him and so on, people won't drop that idea.
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