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humorist-workshop
there's something wrong with me.
i'm not a nice person. dont give me advice like "omg just lyk act nice." yeah i think ive tried that before thanks.
so yesterday i went shopping all day with my mom. it was so much fun and i enjoyed it a lot. but then later that night her boyfriend came over, watched a movie with her, and slept over. so then the next day is mothers day (today) and im like "mom c'mon its mothers day. i dont want to spend mothers day with my mother and her boyfriend. i just want to spend it with my mother." actually i dont think i said that. it was more "why cant he leave" but whatever.
anyways she said thatd "itd be rude to say he cant come to brunch with us" so i unwillingly went to mothers day brunch with my mom and her boyfriend and i ignored them whenever they said anything to me and i figured hed leave after brunch. but no. then they went to go buy a grill while i stayed home watching will and grace.
so they came back from buying a grill like 3 or 4 hours later and my mom is like "whats wrong why wont you smile or talk" and i said "because i dont like your boyfriend. hes wasting your time." (they've been together for 6 years and he refuses to propose and i just think she deserves better.)
anyways so today me and my mom planned to see 'baby mama' because it seemed fitting for mothers day. well, i told her i didnt want to go. and then she asked what kind of pizza i wanted and i said i didnt want any.
its mothers day. and my mom deserves so much better. i should accept her boyfriend being here and just treat her nicely but i cant seem to do that.
sorry its so long but i thought the story needed to be said so you can see how awful i really am before you give me advice on what to do about my terrible attitude i always give people.
happy mothers day.
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First, please stop beating yourself up. Yes, some of your reactions and behaviors were based on your own self interests, but -hello- that is something we are guilty of from time to time. The real growth as a human being comes when you realize your behavior is less than what you want to be and you strive to make an adjustment.
Based on what you have detailed in your question, the best advice I have for you is this: It is very easy to fall into the trap of seeing and "knowing" what is best for another person and then being frustrated and even hurt or insulted when they do not listen to or follow the path suggested by our "brilliant insight into their lives".
Everyone is on their own journey in this life. When it comes to our loved ones, we can counsel them, give our opinions and sometimes flat out hit them with the cold hard truth of their situations; but, ultimately, the best way to love someone is to support them, even when we don't agree with their decisions.
There are exceptions to this advice, of course. If a loved one is putting themselves or others in danger with their actions or decisions then certainly more than support may be required.
As far as your "terrible attitude" (as you put it): a bad attitude is an easy thing to fall into and is all about your perspective. When things annoy you, it's easy to look around your world with annoyed eyes and everything else will seem annoying too. As silly as it sounds, if you make an effort to see the positive aspect of even the most annoying things, when you look around at everything else in your life, you just might start to see the positive part of more and more. Your overall attitude will then begin to shift and your first reactions and responses will start to be ones that you can be proud of.
It's a process and you are not a perfect being - you are a human being. Best of luck to you.
Kind wishes,
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well I wouldn't say that you're a horrible person based on this story. Yes, you were a bit rude to your mom, but its understandable. You wanted to have a special Mother's Day, just you and your mom. Unfortunately her boyfriend who you don't like was there, and it annoyed you. I'm guessing your around 13-15. and at that age the way you acted is completely normal. not excusable, but normal.
You should sit down and talk with your mom, and let her know how your feeling. try not to sound rude, but get everything out in the open. I feel like you're harboring a lot of feelings, and this might be adding to you feeling like a horrible person.
Also you probably should try to accept your mom's boyfriend, but you're not required to love him or even like him. You just have to show him respect and be civil, which isn't too hard to do. Just a simple hello every now and then and maybe a smile. And yes, 6 years is a looong time, but your mom is capable of taking care of herself. If she wasn't okay with the situation he would have been gone.
Anyways sorry this is so long, basically I just want to say you are not a horrible person, you just seem to be hurt/jealous/confused/upset and acting out.
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its hard to judge wether youre a horrible person from just one event, but in this case i dont see why youre a bad person at all. i mean, yeah, the things you said sound a bit harsh, but its the reason why you said them that compensates that.
you dont like your mothers boyfriend. does she even want to marry him? i mean six years is a loooong time for a relationship, and from what i have seen most divorced couples dont want to marry again because they think the whole marriage thing is jinxed.
why would she deserve better if the guy wants spend 4 hours with her buying a grill? who wants to buy a grill? who would volunteer for something lame like that? I know i wouldnt, and neither would my dad. + will&grace is 10000x more fun than grill shopping in my opinion.
you obviously like your mom a lot, and you're kind of jealous of the time she spends with her boyfriend. So yea, there is something wrong with you, but unfortunately its nothing special. Try telling your mom what you wrote down here, not trying to be dr. Phil here but tell people how you feel before giving them attitude. Sometimes people really appreciate that kind of honesty and this way they can understand your feelings better.
good luck.
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